Into the Great Unknown
by Rockapotamus
Summary: A 17 year old girl survives the plane crash of Oceanic Flight 815. She makes friends and enemies, and soon begins to trust her life with these people that she never knew before that fateful crash. Begins from Pilot.
1. Beginning of the End

I was on fire when I woke up. Something was brushing against my face- a palm frond? I sat up slowly. Where was I? I saw blue sky, and jungle. Lots of jungle.

A sharp pain shot through my head when I tried to stand. I was confused over what had happened. I remember I was on a plane from Sydney to L.A., and suddenly we were hit with some horrible turbulence…

My eyes widened. Oh my gosh, my family! My parents were with me when—

When what? I rubbed my temple, wracking my brain. I looked up when I heard a distant crackle. At the edge of the beach I was lying on, there was a chunk of burning metal. That metal looked oddly familiar, like it belonged to a plane…

Our plane crashed. Oh God, our plane crashed. I tried to stand up to find my parents, only to collapse when pain ripped into my left leg. I glanced down, expecting to see only a gash, but instead saw something that made me want to vomit.

A piece of shrapnel was sticking out of my lower leg. Tears came to my eyes as I watched blood drip onto the sand beneath my leg. The sheer shock of seeing something like that was enough to make me start sobbing. I stopped, however, when I heard a shout.

I looked up to see a tall Iraqi man running towards me.

"Are you alright?" He asked. A few tears slid down my cheeks.

"I have… a piece of metal in my leg, I-I can't walk," I managed to say. It felt as if my throat were closing up. The man quickly strode over, and scooped me up.

"Hang on, I'll take you to Jack," he said, and began to jog up the beach.

"Who's Jack?" I asked, but before he could answer, we rounded a corner. I never really thought about how much destruction I saw daily, especially on the news. I just dismissed it, but now… For the first time in my life, I saw _real_ carnage.

People were darting about; some were crying, others trying to help as much as they could. I saw a blonde girl, standing in the middle of it all, just screaming. I looked down, trying to get away from the horrors in front of me, and instead saw a bloody severed hand on the ground.

I whipped my head around, focusing on the collarbone in the Iraqi man's neck. I began mouthing something, a mantra of sorts.

"What?" The Iraqi man asked when he saw my lips moving. I looked up at him, trying my hardest to stay composed.

"I'm seventeen years old," I said. "Please tell me I'm going to get out of this alive." I knew it was a stupid thing to say, but nothing else came to mind.

"I can't promise you that," he replied. I looked down, my lips clamping shut.

We finally found the man we were looking for. I stood shakily when the Iraqi man set me down, leaning heavily on him. My leg was killing me, and blood had begun to cover the bottom portion of my jeans.

"Sayid, what is it?" Jack asked.

His name was Sayid. I documented it in my mind, to better remember it later.

"This girl needs bandaging. Her leg," Sayid explained, indicating the metal in my leg. Jack's eyes widened when he saw it, and he stared at my leg for a moment.

"Okay," he said, and took my hand. Sayid was gone a moment later. Jack sat me down, assessing the wound.

"What's your name?" He asked me, looking me right in the eyes.

"Marie," I replied.

"Okay, Marie. I'm going to have to pull this metal out," Jack said. I gulped, and nodded.

"Go for it," I quipped.

"You ready?" Jack asked. I nodded, gritting my teeth and gently gripping Jack's shoulder.

A sudden jerk, and I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth, but I couldn't scream. I screwed my eyes shut, tears leaking out from beneath my eyelids.

"Are you alright?" Jack asked urgently. I could only nod yes.

Jack cleaned my wound, and pulled out a nasty-looking makeshift needle, along with some fishing line attached to it. I flinched away from him when he moved the needle to my leg.

"I need to stitch it," he reasoned. He noticed how I was looking at the needle with distrust, and chuckled. "Don't worry, it's been sterilized as best it can." I finally relaxed, allowing him to stitch my wound shut. He was beginning to put bandages on it when I noticed the blood running down his arm.

"You're hurt!" I cried. Jack gave me a look, and I saw his eyes flick to my hand for a moment. When I looked at my fingers, they were covered with blood. "Oh my God, I'm sorry! I squeezed you a little too tight, didn't I?"

Jack smiled. "Don't worry about it," he said, finishing off with the bandages. "There."

"Thank you," I said quietly. Jack left soon after, presumably to go help more people. I sat on the beach, trying to get up. My leg hurt too much right now to walk on. So, I stared out in to the ocean, trying to ignore the pain happening around me.

Exhausted, I finally closed my eyes.

A/N: First chapter. I don't know about this. What do you guys think?


	2. Much Needed Friend

When I woke up, my head was pounding. Why was it so hot? Planes have AC.

I suddenly remembered what happened. The plane crash, the pain. I touched the place where my leg was bandaged. The doctor Jack had patched this up.

I got up slowly, wincing in pain. I looked around for Jack or Sayid; they were the only two people I knew here. I saw Sayid's curly dark hair, and began making my way towards him.

"Sayid," I yelled, my voice hoarse. He turned, eyebrows raised in question. "Have you seen any other… dead bodies around here, besides the ones on the beach?" I wanted to know if my parents were dead. Finding their bodies would be better than not finding them at all. I couldn't deal with the idea that they might still be alive, just missing. The painful hope of finding them again would destroy me from the inside out.

"Why, um…" Sayid asked, faltering when he wanted to say my name.

"Marie," I said, giving him my name. "Because… my parents were on the plane, and I haven't found them yet."

Dark sympathy flashed across Sayid's eyes. "There's only one place left to look," he said, pointing down the beach, "and that's the fuselage." I nodded, eyes focusing on the torn-up section of the plane.

"Thank you," I murmured, and began walking towards it.

"Marie," Sayid called after me. I looked back at him. "I do not suggest you go in there." I smiled sadly at him.

"I have to know," I explained.

I stared at the looming darkness of the fuselage a few minutes later. I steeled myself. I had to go inside. I had to find my parents.

Taking a breath of air, I began to search inside. The smell was so bad, I could barely breathe through my mouth. I didn't want to look at the people's faces, but I wouldn't be able to find my parents if I didn't.

I only got past three rows of the fuselage before I threw up. I retched, clutching my stomach. It was very slow going, especially with my leg, and I had much more searching ahead of me. I looked up when I heard something clink.

I nearly screamed. Something was moving in here. However, I recognized the man I saw. He was one of the survivors from the crash, the scruffy Southern man.

"Well, well. Look who we got here," he drawled at me. I felt dizzy as I straightened, wiping at my mouth. "It's Tinkerbell."

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" I croaked, trying not to vomit again.

"The name's Sawyer," he replied, "and I'm just doing a little… shopping. These people won't need their stuff where they're going." Sawyer grinned, and I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to punch the smirk right off his face. I was about to snap a scathing insult at him when I noticed something shiny dangling from his hand.

"That necklace!" I cried, pitching forward. Sawyer stepped back, his eyebrows knit together in wary confusion. "Did you get it…" I gulped, my throat tightening. "Did you get it off a dead body?" Sawyer's eyes locked with mine for a long, unhappy moment.

"What's it to you?" He answered. I wanted to cry.

"Yes or no question," I shot back.

"Yes," he finally answered.

It seemed as if my body went numb. I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't breathe. I think Sawyer said something to me, but my senses weren't quite working. I slowly turned around, and walked out of the fuselage. When I got out, I walked over to the wall of the fuselage. I slid down the wall and put my head in my hands.

I couldn't stop the tears. The plane crash, my leg, my parents… It was too much. It was all too much.

I began to cry, great, heaving sobs. I screamed into my hands, my body shaking. I never, ever thought I could hurt so much. Nothing had prepared me for this.

"Why are you crying, love?" Someone asked. I looked up, quickly trying to wipe away my tears.

"My… my parents didn't… didn't survive the crash," I sobbed. "They're dead…!" An inhuman wail erupted from my throat, and I put my face in my hands again.

The man who had asked the question sat down next to me. I felt an arm encircle my shoulders, and looked into his face.

"There's a lot of dead people here," he murmured. He looked sympathetic.

"But they're my _parents_!" I cried. "What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to turn to now?" I thought for a moment how childish I sounded, but I didn't care. The man nodded, thinking.

"You can turn to me," he said. My eyes widened at him in surprise. We had just crashed on some deserted island, and here was this man offering me his friendship. He smiled at me, but I couldn't find the heart to smile back.

"O-okay," I said. The man smiled again, and this time I almost managed a smile.

"I'm Charlie, by the way," he said, extending a hand. I shook it, finally smiling.

"Marie," I replied.

I pitched my tent near Charlie's last night. He lent me a blanket, but Sayid was the one who helped me make the tent. I found myself already becoming attached to Sayid. His dry humor was one of the only things that got me to smile. Charlie helped, and a pregnant lady who was watching us yelled encouragement at us. I talked with her later, and found her name was Claire. Claire was a sweetheart.

My eyes didn't close for hours. I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard a horrible loud screeching, grinding noise coming from the jungle. It made me think of a giant metal T-Rex.

Whatever the noise was, it terrified me. I scrambled up as fast as I could—damn my leg—and wrapped my blanket tightly around me.

"Marie," someone next to me whispered. I turned to see Sayid.

"Sayid!" I breathed. I moved closer to him, eyes wide with fear. "Do you know what it is?" I jerked my heard towards the jungle and the noise. Sayid shook his head.

After a while the noise faded. Needless to say, I didn't go to sleep after that.


	3. Downward Spiral of Events

When the sun rose, I went out onto the beach. I sat far away from the main 'camp', lost in my own thoughts. I thought about my friends back at home, and if they were worried about me. I tried to not think about it, but eventually my mind wandered to my parents. I remembered my mom with her tired smiles, and my dad with his loud voice. How much easier would this be if they were with me?

For some reason, no tears pricked my eyes. It was like all the tears were cried out of my system. Maybe I'd cried them faster than my body could make them.

I was still staring out into the ocean when something fell into the sand next to my feet.

"Your necklace," a Southern-accented voice said. I looked up, surprised. Sawyer was standing next to me, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. I must have been staring, because he said, "Is it that shocking that I gave you your stupid necklace back?"

"No," I said quickly. I gave him a small smile. "Thank you." I looked down to scoop up the necklace, and looked back up to thank Sawyer again. He was gone.

I watched the banded silver catch the sunlight and glitter. I slowly put it on. This was my mother's favorite necklace. She never took it off.

I broke down and began to cry again. I guess my body had made more tears.

I heard footsteps this time when somebody approached me. I quickly wiped my eyes, sniffling. I didn't want people here to think I was weak. At least, more than most of them probably did already.

"Hey, Marie," someone said. I mustered a smile at the person standing next to me. Jack, of course.

"Hi," I replied.

"How's your leg doing?" I glanced down at my bandage. I hadn't really thought of that.

"Oh, um… fine." I gave him the best smile I could, and then looked down, assuming Jack would just leave. He'd made sure I was alright, after all.

"Are _you_ alright?" He asked. I looked up again as he sat down next to me.

"Our plane just crashed," I began, "we're on this desert island with some freaky monster-thing, and I just found out my parents are dead." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, and inhaled shakily. "So, yeah. I'm about as good as the circumstances allow."

"Sorry, that was a stupid question," he said, chuckling. I nodded unhappily.

"Thank you, anyways," I said to him. He got up, offering me a hand. I took it and stood.

"Be careful," Jack said when I took a step and stumbled. He caught me around the shoulders and steadied me.

"Thanks," I murmured, and started walking away. My tent and blankets looked very inviting. But if I sat in there, I would bore myself to death. I had to do something to help me cope with this downward spiral of events.

I walked up to Claire, smiling as I sat down next to the pregnant woman.

"How's it goin'?" I asked. Claire smiled at me. Of all the survivors I'd met, she was the most optimistic. She never hesitated to give someone a smile.

"Pretty good," she replied. "You?"

"Actually, I'm looking for some sketchbooks. Do you know where I can find any?"

"Um… Sawyer has been gathering stuff. He may have some," Claire said, pointing at the blue tarp that made up the Southern man's tent.

I said a quick thanks to Claire, and got up. It took me a little while to get to Sawyer's tent, but I finally stood in front of it, and him.

"Why hello there, Tinkerbell," he said, his face smug.

"Marie," I corrected him. "Do you have any sketchbooks I could have?"

Sawyer chuckled. "Now why would I want to give you something when I could trade it for something better?" He asked. I painstakingly kneeled down.

"Please," I pleaded. Sawyer's facial expression never changed, but I saw his eyes turn from joking to serious.

"What'll you give me, Tink?" He asked. God, that infuriating nickname!

"What do you want?" I countered. I wanted to beat this man at his own game. If he never gave me a direct answer, then he wouldn't get any direct answers.

"Well…" he whispered, and I saw his eyes travel up and down my body. "You tell me." Disgust rose in the back of my throat. I wanted to kick him in the balls, but I knew that if I did he would easily overpower me. Damn it all.

"It's not worth it," I spat, straightened, and stormed away.

Sorry this chapter's kinna short. There's another one coming in a few minutes, I promise.


	4. Mulling About

I had at least two hours of sleep that night. I didn't hear the monster, but then again, I didn't hear much of anything. I was too lost in thought.

True, I had been very independent from an early age. I'd gotten a job at age 14, and began learning how to drive. My older brother lent me his car on the premise of it getting back in one piece. I moved out last year, the day after I turned 16.

But I'd always loved my parents, despite my dad's tendency to go from nice to angry in about a second, and my mom's perfection complex. God forbid I brought home a B in a class. I wouldn't even go home for a while if I got a C in anything.

I cried a lot more that night. When I went to wash my face the next morning, I was shocked by how horrible I looked. My eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, and my hair was scraggly and unkempt. More than anything, I wanted to shower and change my clothes, but there were no showers here. I hadn't found my bag yet, either.

I sighed, splashed my face with water, and went it search for Claire. After borrowing her brush and tugging it through my hair, I went in search for my bag.

A search of the beach turned up nothing. Sawyer had cleared out the fuselage, so he may have my bag. He was really the only other place to check.

I really didn't want to. The man made me nauseous. Sure, he may be attractive, but no amount of hotness could make me forgive him for what he suggested last night. But I wanted my bag…

I made a face and trudged half-heartedly to Sawyer's tent. He saw me coming, and opened his mouth to say something.

"Don't even," I snapped. I was not in the mood for his little remarks. "I want my bag. Dark green, rolling suitcase. Do you have it?" Sawyer blinked at the anger in my voice.

"It depends. Do you--" He began.

"Can you just give me a direct answer?" I cried, finally yelling at him. He looked taken aback.

"If you had just asked nicely," he muttered, "I may have considered telling you. But seeing as how you yelled at me. I may have to…" The smirk on his face grew wider. "…withhold that information."

I clenched my fists, fully prepared to punch him, strength difference or no. It would be worth it. I was gritting my teeth and tensing up when I heard Jack's voice. He and another girl—Kate, I think her name was—were going into the jungle to look for the rest of the fuselage. Charlie was going with them.

I disregarded Sawyer, hobbling over to the three as fast as I could.

"Charlie! Jack!" I called just as they were heading out. All three turned to look at me. I faltered a bit, not used to being regarded so seriously. "Um… be careful." Jack and Kate nodded, and Charlie gave me a quick hug.

"I will, love," he said, and a few minutes later, they were gone.

Soon after they left, it started to rain. I fidgeted with my mother's necklace. I was worried about the three who went into the jungle. That thing that made the horrible noises was in there, and—

As if it heard my thoughts, the noises started again. I ducked and covered my ears, but my eyes searched the jungle. No sign of anything.

I couldn't sleep again that night.

The next day dawned bright and sunny. Jack, Charlie, and Kate still weren't back yet. I watched the people move about the beach. The blonde girl who had screamed after the crash was now tanning herself. An oriental man was gathering sea urchins from tide pools.

I zoned out for a little while, until I heard a commotion to my right. Jack, Charlie, and Kate had come back! I limped to them, grinning. Others were following my example.

"Hey!" I cried, smiling. "I was worried about you!" Just as they were about to explain what they found, we heard shouts from the beach.

I looked over to see Sawyer and Sayid fighting. Sawyer was yelling something about Sayid was a terrorist and _he_ was the reason our plane crashed. I was already moving to them, getting ready to try to stop them, but Jack beat me to the punch.

He broke the two up, yelling at them. Sawyer looked furious, but Sayid was already beginning to calm down. I waited until the crowd had dispersed, and walked over to Sayid. I watched Kate leave his tent, Sayid busy tinkering with a metal object that looked like a walkie-talkie.

"What's that?" I asked, leaning on the doorway of his tent.

"The transceiver from the plane," he replied. "I'm going to see in it can be fixed." I walked closer to him, watching his hands move deftly inside the transceiver.

"And then?" I asked. I didn't want to be nosy, but I had nothing else to do. I thought for a minute that Sayid would send me away, just like every other adult did, but he just smiled.

"Then we're going to find some higher ground, and wait to see if we can receive anything," he explained. We sat in silence for a while, until Sayid said, "Would you like to come with us?"

Normally, I would have jumped at the chance to do anything else than sit around and be bored all day. But…

"I can't," I said, sighing unhappily. "My leg, I… I won't be able to keep up with you. I'd only slow you down." I ran my fingers through my hair and huffed.

"I'm sorry," Sayid said. I nodded, and left.

After wandering around the beach for maybe 10 minutes, I found Claire. I sat down next to her, sighing heavily.

"What's wrong?" She asked me. I shrugged, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"If I don't kill myself from boredom, I'll die from not moving around," I griped. "My leg makes me cry inside." Claire giggled at my comment.

"Well, I have some better news," she said. I raised my eyebrows in question. "I felt my baby kick today for the first time since the crash. He's alright!"

"That's great, Claire!" I exclaimed. At least there was some good news on this godforsaken island. "He?" I asked. Claire nodded, still smiling.

"Yeah, I've become used to thinking of my baby as a he," Claire explained.

I chatted with Claire until I saw Sayid and a group of others packing up to go. I excused myself from Claire for a minute, making my way over to them.

"Sayid," I shouted. I saw the blonde girl, Kate, Charlie, Sawyer, and the blonde girl's brother in the group. "Hey, do me a favor," I said, pulling Sayid aside, "come back in one piece, okay? You're one of my only friends here, so… be careful, please." Sayid smiled in amusement. I had a sudden realization of how alike this conversation was to the one I had with Charlie.

"I'll be fine," he said, giving me a quick hug around the shoulders. I watched the group leave, hugging myself.

I wanted my leg to get better. I wanted to be able to move as fast as I could before the plane crash. I was on track in high-school, so I could really get going if I wanted to. I wanted to go with these little scouting parties, instead of just seeing them off. I felt like the teary wife waving a handkerchief as her husband walks off to war, or something.

Jack was off tending a guy who had a piece of metal in his stomach. I knew how it felt to have a piece of metal sticking out of you. My leg still hurt from the shrapnel in it. Even after Jack had stitched it up and given me the antibiotics, it still hurt to do anything other than walk. I didn't even want to imagine what this guy was feeling.

The group didn't return until the next morning. I was happy; everyone had gotten back alright. But the story of the polar bear had left me nervous and confused. A polar bear on a tropical island?

I walked up to Jack, who had just come out of the tent where the wounded guy was.

"Jack," I said, "do you have any Advil?" Jack shook his head. I noticed him grab a bag and start suiting up, as if he were going somewhere. I watched him for a minute, then asked, "And where are you going?"

"The marshal needs more antibiotics, stronger ones," Jack explained, "and the only place where I may be able to find some is the fuselage."

I glanced over at the gaping maw of the fuselage, like the open jaws of a monster. Memories of finding out about my parent's death came rushing back to me.

"It's horrible in there," I murmured. "The faces… horrible." I shuddered thinking of them. Jack turned to me, but I was already walking away. I walked down to Claire, who was being helped into a wheelchair by Charlie.

"What's goin' on?" I asked the two.

"Charlie's helping me collect luggage," Claire said. "You wanna come?" I nodded, and began walking with them.

I couldn't help but notice how well the two got along. When it started raining, I wheeled Claire to my tent, and Charlie ran to his.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say Charlie was hitting on you," I said smugly. Claire gave me a shocked look, but I could see her eyes sparkling.

"No," she protested, blushing.

"Yes," I replied. I nudged Claire with my elbow and wiggled my eyebrows. Sometimes, for brief moments, I could forget everything that happened. However, I wasn't going to forget for much longer.


	5. A Clatter of Thoughts

The rain let up a while later. I walked for a little while, up the beach. My mind wandered, and I zoned out again. I didn't notice night had fallen until I looked up. Luckily, I was walking back by then.

I was just walking back to my tent when I heard a gunshot coming from Jack's tent. Against my better judgment, I ran towards Jack's tent, clutching at my sleeves. I had a nervous habit of pulling up my long sleeves past my thumbs, and holding onto them with the rest of my fingers. I did it when I was scared, just like right now.

"Jack!" I cried uncertainly. But instead of Jack walking out of the tent, Sawyer walked out, holding a gun. The marshal was in that tent!

"Sawyer, what did you do?" I breathed.

"He was making a lot of noise, and he—" Sawyer tried to explain, but he was interrupted by a horrifying gurgling noise coming from the tent.

I never really liked Sawyer, but the scared, shaken expression on his face right now made me think of him differently. However, after that split second of thought left, I was open to the sound of the marshal's screams.

I put my hands over my mouth, and tears began to spill out of my eyes. I wanted to run far away from the noise, but my legs wouldn't move. I was rooted to the spot.

Sayid saw my reaction, having just come out of his tent to see what was going on. He hurried over to me, and took me by the shoulders.

"Come on. Come away from here," he whispered to me, and began leading me away. He didn't get me far away enough for me to not hear the screams stop, however. Now was I far away enough to not see Jack walk out of the tent with a grim expression on his face.

Sayid managed to calm me down, but I didn't sleep that night either.

I went back to Sawyer in the morning. I stood in front of him until he looked up. I could tell he was in a bad mood: his eyes were dark and his normal smug look was replaced by a scowl.

"Hey, um," I said hesitantly. I fidgeted with my sleeves again, nervously pulling them up.

"What?" Sawyer growled. I flinched inwardly. But the memory of his eyes last night made talking to him a bit easier. He was leaning up against a pole, eyeing me in an annoyed way.

I was originally going to ask him to give me back my bag, but now wasn't the best time. I took a deep breath, and went with my gut feeling on what to do.

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Sawyer in one of the shortest hugs I'd ever given. I didn't meet his eyes after; all I did was shove my hands in my pockets and quickly walk away.

A clatter of thoughts were spinning in my head. I didn't even really like Sawyer! What part of last night redeemed him? Maybe it was the terrible humanity in his face at the realization that he had just ensured someone a long, painful death. Maybe it was the fear in his eyes.

Whatever it was, me hugging Sawyer didn't really change my opinion of him. He was still a pompous jackass—but now, he had a slightly more human side to him.

I was sitting in my tent, bored out of my skull, when I heard something thump on the sand beside me. I looked around, and saw my bag.

"What?" I called, looking up and around. All I saw was Sawyer's back. Did he just…? He gave my bag back to me! I laughed, unzipping the rolling suitcase.

All my clothes, and my sketchbooks, were in my bag. Everything was in this bag—shampoo, body wash, my brush, etc. I grinned. Now I can at least wash my hair and my face properly.

After finding a secluded spot and changing my clothes, I went back to my tent. There was nothing to do. Claire was off on one of her little projects, Charlie was helping her, and Sayid was fiddling with the transceiver.

So, I took out one of my many sketchbooks and began to draw.

I'd been drawing for the past seven years. It was one of my favorite pastimes. What I wouldn't say—couldn't say—in real life, I could put down on paper. Anger, sadness, and happiness… it was all so much easier to deal with emotions with a pencil in my hand. People, especially, were my strong point. So, I closed my eyes, remembered someone, and began to draw.

Some time later, I had a profile of Sayid sketched out. I just needed to darken some lines and add some shading, and then I would be done.

"Is that me?" A voice asked. Speak of the devil! I jumped, startled, and flipped the sketchbook shut.

"What? Um… no," I said quickly, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. I didn't really like to be noticed for my art. Whenever people saw it, they normally started gushing over it, saying how good it was and how talented I am. I didn't like it.

"Let me see," he said firmly, holding out his hand. I reluctantly handed him the sketchbook, blushing even harder. I heard Sayid flip through the pages, until he finally stopped on his picture. "This is quite good," he mused, which made me yank my shirt's hood over my face.

"No," I groaned, pulling my hood down lower when Sayid laughed.

"Here," he said, and I looked up for a split second to grab my book. "You draw _very_ well." I stuffed my face in my hands and grumbled. When I didn't hear Sayid walking away, I peeked up. He was staring at me, eyebrows raised in both confusion and amusement.

I sighed, then looked around. Once I made sure nobody was coming, I explained in a whisper, "I'm shy about my drawings."

"Ah," Sayid breathed. A smile passed his lips. "I'll leave you to that, then." He walked away, leaving me blushing madly and staring down at my sketchbook.

I had time to do another portrait—Claire, this time—before night fell. I chewed on a mango and watched the sun set. I was just settling down, telling myself firmly that I _would_ sleep tonight, when I heard a dog barking. I recognized the golden retriever, but I didn't know why he was barking. He wasn't even barking at the jungle. He was barking at the fuselage.

I got up slowly. My head hurt.

"Charlie," I called, yawning. Charlie, who was standing next to Claire, turned around. "What's goin' on?" I wrapped my arms around myself; it was kind of cold.

"I dunno," he replied. I saw Jack grab a flashlight, and I moved behind him as he shone it into the fuselage. I jumped when I saw a pair of glowing eyes look back out at us.

Three dark shapes exploded from the fuselage. I cried out in surprised fear, ducking down. I was surprised to feel an arm wrap around my shoulders, as if someone was protecting me. When I opened my eyes, I was even more surprised to see that it was Sawyer who had an arm around me.

He let go in an instant. We didn't look at each other at all. I walked over to Sayid, who took me by the shoulders.

"Are you alright?" He asked. I nodded.

"Are _you_?" I asked back. He nodded too. I walked around, making sure Charlie and Claire were alright too.

After a little bit of commotion, I finally managed to get to sleep. I wasn't too riled up about the boars, but then again, I was too tired to care much about anything. I guess all those sleepless nights had taken their toll.


	6. The Wolves That Were Survivors

I woke up late the next morning. Again, the headache. But I didn't want to bother Jack. I got up slowly, feeling dizzy. I looked around as I stood, and saw Kate talking to an unhappy-looking Jack.

"What happened?" I called to a passing Claire.

"Jack dived in to save someone who was out in the ocean, but…" Claire looked down and bit her lip. "He didn't make it in time." I frowned. For some reason, tears stung my eyes.

Claire moved on, and I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. The throbbing in my temple was getting more and more insistent. I needed medicine. But the one with all the stuff was… Sawyer. I groaned. Go figure.

I didn't think of him as a friend, no. I thought of him as more of… a friendly acquaintance, or maybe an annoying older brother. After last night, I thought of him as a little more than a jerk, but I refused to become attached to him. He was trouble.

I made my way carefully over to Sawyer. My vision was strange.

"Hey there, Tinkerbell," Sawyer said to me, the smirk back on his face.

"Do you…" I blinked and swallowed. Why was it so hot? "Do you have any Advil?"

"What'll you give me?" He replied.

"Forget I asked," I muttered bitterly, staggering out of his tent. I found Sayid on the way back to my tent.

"Marie," he said, smiling. I waved wearily at him. Sayid's pleasant smile turned to concern as he walked closer to me. "You look pale. Are you alright?"

I tried to answer, but all that came out was a strange, inhuman noise. When I took a step, I stumbled and fell. My eyelids felt as if they were weighed down with lead. I finally gave up trying to keep them open, and let blackness drape over me.

I woke up in a panic. "What happened?" I cried, shooting up.

"You fell unconscious," Sayid answered, entering my vision. "Drink." He lifted a cup to my lips. I realized that I had barely drunk in the past few days. The water running down my parched throat was the best feeling in the world at that moment.

"My head…" I murmured. Sayid nodded, a worried look on his face.

"You're suffering from dehydration," he explained. That made sense. The heat coupled with my little water consumption added up. "Jack's gone out for more water. He'll be back soon."

I wanted to get up and go, but Sayid told me to stay put. I found out that Claire had fainted too, but she was sleeping somewhere else.

I heard yelling some time later. I ignored Sayid's command of staying put, and walked out of the tent. A man was being yelled at by an increasing mob. They were yelling that he was the one who had stolen water.

I saw the emotion in the people's eyes and realized what was going to happen. Mob mentality. I had read, "The Monsters are Due on Maple Street". Looks like this guy was our Pete Van Horn.

In my mind's eyes, I saw myself stepping between the mob and the lone man, but I knew I wasn't brave enough. It seemed as if I was frozen in place, watching the scene unfold right before my eyes. In their strung out state, these people could be capable of anything.

A small "Stop" escaped from my lips, and one of the men turned his eyes on me. I wanted to shrink back, get away from those burning green eyes.

I was saved from confrontation, however, because at that moment Jack stepped in the path of the mob. He began talking, but I didn't hear him. I turned away, eyes cast to the floor.

Shame writhed deep in my gut. I shouldn't have been so scared. I shouldn't have thrown that guy to the wolves that were the survivors. I should have done _something_.

I didn't really talk to anybody as I slinked away to my tent. I thought nobody had seen me go. Apparently, I was wrong.

I plunked down on the sand, giving a heavy sigh. I flipped through my sketchbook and grabbed my pencil. My emotions of guilt and shame that raged inside of me flowed out into my hand. I began to draw.

"Hey," an Iraqi voice said. God damn it! Why does Sayid always catch me when I'm drawing? I slammed the sketchbook shut. I looked up. Sayid was holding a bottle of water out to me. "You don't want to dehydrate again."

I murmured a quick "Yeah, thanks" and took the water from Sayid's hand. I only opened my sketchbook when I was sure that he was gone.

I drew until my eyes drooped. Finally, I knew it was time to go to sleep when I yawned and dropped my pencil. So I gathered together my blankets, cocooned myself in them, closed my eyes, and went to sleep.

--

Sorry it's so short.

Hey thanks, SassyLostie, for checking in nearly every chapter.


	7. Walking Heedlessly

The next morning was bright and sunny. Figures. The headaches were gone, but I was stone bored. After doodling some of Sawyer and Charlie (the finished product was giving me trouble, for some reason), I decided to get up and walk around.

A shout made me turn. The Oriental man, Jin, was attacking an African-American man I hadn't met yet. I took a deep breath, and got to the two as fast as I could. I wasn't just going to sit back and watch this time.

I darted in-between the two as soon as I saw an opening.

"Stop it!" I cried, standing in front of the African-American man. I thought that Jin was going to knock me aside for a second, making me tense. But Sayid and Sawyer had come out of nowhere and grabbed Jin.

Sayid handcuffed Jin to a piece of the fuselage. I helped the other man up, who told me his name was Michael. I was checking him for any bad wounds when Sayid roughly grabbed my arm.

"Hey! That hurts!" I protested as he dragged me away from Michael. "Ow! Sayid, let me go!" He finally did, and I brushed myself off before fixing him with an angry stare. "What was that for?" I hissed. The look on Sayid's face quickly silenced me, however.

"That was not a very smart thing to do," Sayid said. His demeanor was calm, but I could sense a tightness in his voice that indicated anger.

"But—" I began. Sayid cut me off. His eyes were like angry thunder.

"He could have hit you," Sayid explained, "and what would you have done then? He's stronger than you; you would have been overpowered easily." I flushed, but didn't break eye contact with him. I learned early on that looking down while being scolded was weak.

"I could have taken care of myself," I tried to argue.

"_Never _get between two people who are fighting. Leave that to an—" Sayid started to say. The second I heard the last half of what he was saying, anger shot through me.

"An adult?" I finished. "Because obviously, I can't do anything! Of course, what was I thinking?" My voice was rising. Sarcasm spilled out of my mouth before I could stop it. "I'm not good enough, right? Because I'm just a _kid_!" I shrieked, and stormed away.

God, I hated it. I hated being disregarded and brushed aside, just because I hadn't turned 18 yet. I was seen as little, inferior. I was seen as incapable, more stupid, a worthless piece of dust whose opinions didn't even matter. That type of thinking made me move out of my parent's house the second I got their consent. I wanted to show them and the world that yes, I _could_ be responsible, I _could_ be smart, and I _could_ be an adult.

And just when I was getting good at being independent, I got landed here, where I was viewed as a little kid once again. The lifestyle that I had fought so hard to escape just kept coming back to me. Nothing had changed.

Angry, hot tears stung my eyes as I walked heedlessly into the jungle. I found a small clearing not too far away from the beaches. After a minute of trying to regain my composure, I lost it and finally broke down.

I heard a twig snap and jumped. When I looked up, Jack was standing near me.

_Crap_, I thought, wiping my face hurriedly.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked. Embarrassment crept up my cheeks at Jack catching me sobbing like a little baby. I sniffed as he helped me up, and quickly thought up a lie.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" I swallowed, wiping my eyes again. "It's a lot to handle, the plane crashing and my parents, and all. But I think this will be the last time I'll break down like this." Jack nodded. I was convincing when I wanted to be.

I walked with Jack towards the beach, musing. "Jack," I said quietly, "tell me the truth. If I gave you an opinion, or advice, would you listen to me?" I regretted the question as soon as it was out in the open. "No, I'm sorry, that's a stupid question," I mumbled.

Jack was about to reply, but we had come to the beach. I murmured a quick goodbye and beat a hasty retreat. I listened as Jack talked about finding some caves further inland that were located near a freshwater source. He was talking about how we had the choice of moving from the beach to the caves, or staying where we were.

I was torn. The caves were further inland, so they were probably cooler than the beach. And they were near water, too. But what if a rescue party came and we were all inland? Not to mention there was that strange monster in the jungle.

I was leaning against a tree, chewing my lower lip and thinking, when Jack walked up.

"You coming?" He asked. I thought for a second more, then shook my head.

"Nah," I said. "I'd like to stay here." Jack looked unhappy.

"The caves are safer," he tried to convince me. I smiled.

"In this situation, I'd like to retain as much control as possible," I explained. Understanding flit across Jack's face. He gave me a slight smile, and left.

I sifted through my bag, and found one of my most precious possessions: my iPod. I drew better while listening to music, and it also helped me calm down. I had to be careful, though. If I ran out of battery, I had nothing to charge it with.

More than ever, I wanted to be back home. I sighed, and closed my eyes.

"Marie! Get up, you'll be late!"

I opened my eyes. The familiar blue-and-green plaid pattern of my wallpaper stared back at me. I sat up slowly, looking around. My room, I was in my room! My guitar, my desk, my piles of books, everything. I was even in my bed.

"Marie!" I recognized the voice of my mother this time. I glanced to my right: my alarm clock read 7:00 A.M. What day was it?

I got out of my bed, walking down the stairs. I trailed my fingertips across the mahogany banister. My house smelled like cinnamon, a familiar scent that made my heart warm.

I turned a corner, and found my mother in the kitchen. She was cooking something—pancakes, probably. My mother made the best pancakes. She turned to look at me, blue eyes questioning.

I got my blue eyes from her. My light brown hair and my freckles came from my dad, who had probably gone to work already.

I was overwhelmed to see her again. I dashed forward, hugging her tightly.

"What do you want?" My mother cried, smacking me lightly with her spatula. I stepped back, smiling widely. "Look at you! You're not even dressed yet, and school starts in 20 minutes!"

"But Mom, you won't even believe my dream! It was so _real_, and I was on this island—" I hastily began telling her, but I was interrupted by a strange, grating, metal-like noise. The noise was exactly like the monster's noise, the one from the island. "What was that?" I whipped around, looking out the window.

"Nothing. The neighbors just got a new pet, that's all," my mom replied. I turned back to her, raring to tell her about the island.

I choked when I saw her. My mom had turned into a blackened, bloated corpse. She looked like she had been out in the sun for a few days after she died. Or…

…_in the fuselage_.

I woke up screaming.

Claire had burned the fuselage a couple days ago. Boars had gotten at the people inside, so we had to rid our camp of it or risk boar attacks. There was no way the bodies of my parents hadn't been burnt.

But every time I closed my eyes, I saw the rotted corpse of my mom. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night.


	8. Just the Heat

It had been a day since half the survivors had moved to the caves. Sayid, Claire, Sawyer, and Kate were among the people that stayed. I walked over to Claire, talking with her. I showed her my drawing I did of her. Claire was one of the only exceptions I'd made regarding my drawings; I liked making her happy. We talked for a while, especially about things we missed from home.

We were still talking when I noticed Kate standing in front of Sawyer. The two were far out of earshot, but I could see them conversing. I didn't miss the way Sawyer seemed to soften up around her. His smirk was more a genuine smile than a smirk, and he actually gave her what she must have been asking for.

I excused myself from Claire, walking over to Sawyer. I sat down next to him, garnering a look of surprised annoyance.

"You like her," I said after a moment's silence.

"So?" Sawyer replied. I noticed he didn't deny it.

A smirk spread across my face. This time, it was me being smug instead of Sawyer. I liked the feeling. "I don't know," I answered, getting up. "I just felt like pointing it out." I left Sawyer with a vexed look on his face, and walked back to Claire.

After maybe twenty minutes, Charlie ran up to us out of nowhere. He was dirty and sweaty, and breathing hard.

"There's been a cave-in!" He gasped between breaths.

_Shit_, I thought. Claire looked as alarmed as I felt.

"Sayid and Sawyer are nearby," I said, pointing them out. "I'm going to go help." My leg was feeling better, so I didn't want to just sit around. I set off in the direction of the caves.

I arrived to see people pulling rocks out of a massive pile at what was once the mouth of a cave. Michael was there too, instructing people where to dig. I began grabbing rocks and moving them, despite Michael's protests. Apparently, he didn't want me to 'strain myself'.

Michael had been an architect back on the mainland, so he was telling people where to move rocks based on stability. We finally managed to tunnel through to where we could hear Jack's voice. But the tunnel was… well, it was kind of tiny.

"We need somebody small," Michael said.

"Me!" I cried, stepping forward. I was fairly little for my age; I'd stopped growing at the age of fifteen, and even then, I was only 5'3''.

"Not with that leg," Charlie said, popping out of the jungle. "_I'll_ do it." I wanted to protest, but I knew he was right.

Charlie nearly got smashed when the tunnel caved in. Kate arrived later, and had a spaz-attack over Jack being trapped in the caves. I was more worried about Charlie.

I didn't need to worry for long, though. A very ragged-looking Jack and a very dirty-looking Charlie emerged from behind the cave. Kate ran to Jack, while I checked Charlie over for wounds.

I couldn't convince Charlie to come with me back to the beach, so I went alone. I was walking, trying to make sure I kept going in the right direction, when I bumped into something. I jumped back with a shriek of surprised fear.

I relaxed when I saw the familiar green eyes of Sawyer.

"Jesus, Tink! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Sawyer snapped at me. I grinned at him. He looked at me like I was crazy. "What are you smiling about?" I shrugged.

"I dunno. Just glad it's you and not… something else, I guess," I said. Sawyer's eyes met mine for a minute, until he smirked.

"Whatever," he said. I nodded.

"Kate's back there, just in case you wanted to see her," I said, mirroring Sawyer's smirk. "You know, to comfort her in her time of need. Maybe get a little somethin' good, if you know what I mean." Sawyer shoved me, and I giggled.

"Hey, hold on," Sawyer said, grabbing my face. I froze. "You're bleeding." Sawyer ripped off a little corner of his shirt and dabbed at my cheek. I hadn't even noticed.

"Oh, um… thanks," I said, baffled at his behavior. This was not normal Sawyer behavior. Sawyer was normally mean and arrogant and… ass-faced. He wasn't the least bit caring to anybody, least of all me.

I must have looked as flustered as I felt, because I saw an unidentified expression cross Sawyer's face. Was that… _concern_? What the hell?

"You okay, Tinkerbell?" He asked. I nodded wordlessly. Sawyer's bout of good behavior was freaking me out.

"Yeah. I think I'll just… go now," I stammered, and quickly walked away.

I tried to make sense of Sawyer's strange actions as I walked back. _It was the heat_, I thought decisively. _Yeah. Just the heat._


	9. Unexplainable Relief

The next day was boring. I didn't really want to get up, but I made myself. I groggily went to a pool of fresh water, and washed my hair and face.

I trudged over to where Charlie and Claire were sitting together, and fell heavily on the sand next to them. The two stared at me for a while.

"Tired?" Claire asked, suppressing laughter. I grumbled, not opening my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up with a jolt. I saw Claire sitting right next to me, reading a book.

"How long was I out?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and yawning.

"Maybe twenty minutes," Claire replied. I sat around for a minute, then told Claire I was going to go take a walk in the jungle to clear my head.

I was ten minutes into my walk when I heard an agonized scream. I froze, shocked. However, after seconds that felt like hours, I made myself move towards the noise. If I were in a horror movie, I would be the one who died first. I always ran towards a dangerous noise, instead of away from it.

I ran, and finally broke through a few bushes and into a clearing.

Sawyer was on the ground, a knife sticking out of his upper arm. Sayid was next to him, a horrified expression in his eyes. I saw blood on his hands. Jack was nearby, too.

"Oh God," I breathed, my hands coming up to my mouth. Both Sayid and Jack's heads whipped towards me. I ran towards Sawyer, falling to my knees next to him. I grabbed his face in my hands, tears already sliding down my cheeks.

I looked up at Sayid and Jack focusing mainly on Sayid. "What did you _do_?!" I cried. Sawyer was my friend, I realized. Maybe our friendship wasn't the best one around, but I didn't hate him. I didn't even really dislike him anymore.

Jack seemed to break out of his trance, and gently pushed me aside. "His artery's been hit," he muttered to himself. I couldn't stop the sob that those words wrenched from me.

"Jack," I cried. He looked up at me. "Please… don't let him die." Jack nodded. He ordered Sayid to get some medical supplies from the beach, and began to sew Sawyer up once Sayid got back. I watched him carefully, memorizing how Jack did the stitches, chewing my lip the entire time. I saw Sawyer's face break out in sweat, and tore off a strip of my shirt. I poured some water on it, and dabbed at Sawyer's face.

Jack finished, and bandaged up Sawyer's arm. I wet the strip of my shirt, and cleaned off the blood on him. My eyes hurt from crying. I remembered Sayid's blood-covered hands, and cast about for him.

I finally found him, slumped against a tree with his head in his hands. When he looked up at me, his eyes made my heart ache.

"Here," I whispered, holding out my hands. Sayid shook his head. "Let me see." He still wouldn't relent. I repeated a little more insistently, "Let me see." Finally, Sayid let me take his hands in mine.

I poured water over them, and began to wipe them clean. Finally, all of Sawyer's blood was gone. It looked as if nothing had happened.

I raised my eyes to his. Sad regret filled them, and I understood why. I knew what it felt like to hurt someone, and then to wish to take it back with all your heart.

I held his eyes for what seemed like an eternity, until Jack called him over. Jack and Sayid lifted Sawyer's lifeless body, and began carrying him back to the beaches. I trailed along, head down the entire time.

After ten or twenty minutes of sitting nervously by his side, I saw Sawyer's eyelids move. An unexplainable relief washed over me, and I smiled at him.

"Marie…?" Sawyer mumbled when he saw me. I laughed, despite the tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't even think he knew my real name.

"I was worried about you," I replied. Without my knowing, my hand had found his. I gently squeezed his fingers, and to my surprise, he squeezed mine back.

"Why?" He asked. I blinked.

Before I had to answer, however, Kate walked up. I knew how much Sawyer liked her, so I excused myself from the two. I walked down the beach, and was startled to see Sayid walking away from the camp.

"Sayid!" I called, launching into a small run. Sayid turned around when I finally made it to him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going up the beach, away from here," he answered. I huffed in exasperation.

"I can see that, but why?"

Sayid sighed and ran his fingers through his curly hair. "I can't stay here," he explained. "Not after what I did." He turned to go.

"Sayid, but… don't…!" I stammered. I couldn't think of anything I could say that would make him stay, so I _did_ something instead. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. "Please. Don't go."

Sayid didn't respond for a long time. Finally, he reached up and untangled my fingers from his shirt. He turned, taking my face in his hands. Tears began to roll uncontrollably down my cheeks.

"I can't stay," he tried to reason. I sniffed, my body quivering from repressed sobs.

"But you're my _friend_," I cried. "You _have_ to." Sayid shook his head, and I could tell that he'd made up his mind.

Sayid pulled me into a tight hug, then kissed my forehead. "Goodbye, Marie," he said.

"Goodbye," I answered feebly. I stood there, long after he had disappeared. I finally wiped at the salty tear-tracks on my face, and went back.


	10. Sick with Worry

A few days had passed since Sayid had left. I didn't know that many people on the beaches anymore. Charlie had convinced Claire to go to the caves, and Sayid was gone. The only person left was… Sawyer.

I made a gagging noise, and went to sleep.

I woke up to someone shaking me. I jolted backwards when I saw Sawyer's face.

"What the hell?" I asked, tensing up.

"Now don't be so happy to see me," Sawyer quipped. I made a face at him. "C'mon. Staypuft and Driveshaft have opened up a golf course." I nodded and yawned.

Sawyer had to steady me more than once on our way there. I don't do well after I wake up. Finally, Sawyer just kept a hand on my forearm until we arrived.

I watched Charlie steady himself, watching the ball intently. It had gone quiet. Charlie pulled back, and just before the club hit the ball…

"Yellow!" I screamed, then ducked behind Sawyer when Charlie looked my way. I giggled.

For the first time since the crash, I _really_ laughed. I laughed until my stomach hurt, especially when Charlie and another guy named Hurley started dancing. Even Sawyer seemed to be having a good time.

We walked back together. I didn't want to walk through the jungle alone, not at night.

"Good night, Sawyer," I said, walking back to my tent.

"Yeah, yeah," Sawyer replied. I looked up, grinning, and was surprised to see someone sitting in Sayid's tent.

"Sayid?" I shouted, moving forwards. The person in the tent turned around, and sure enough, there he was. I laughed, rushing towards him. He was smiling too, and caught me up into a hug. "I was so worried about you! I'm glad you're back!"

Sayid nodded. "I'm glad to be back," he replied.

I stayed with him until I could barely keep my eyes open. Finally, I walked back to my tent, and fell asleep.

I woke up in a cold sweat. "What a weird dream," I said to myself. _Why was Claire crying? She looked so upset_, I thought, remembering my dream.

I heard footfalls in the sand, and looked up to see Michael's son standing in front of me. "Walt, right?" I asked. He nodded. There was a strange expression in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Claire and Charlie have been kidnapped," he said, and walked away. I froze, and my heart began to race. _Kidnapped?_ I thought. The word screamed in my brain, and my throat began to close up.

I began to pace, thinking furiously.

"You look like a tiger in a cage," someone remarked, and I recognized Sawyer's voice immediately. "Why so restless?"

"Didn't you hear about Charlie and Claire?" I asked earnestly. Sawyer nodded.

"Ah," he breathed, "yeah. Shortstuff and Preggo were sna-"

"Don't do that!" I cried. Sawyer gave me a look. "Don't… belittle them like that." I could see anger in his eyes. I sighed and sat down. "I'm sorry. I just wish I could _do _something, instead of just sitting here and _hoping_ they'll be alright," I whispered. Tears of frustration blurred my vision, and I hit the ground next to me. "Damn it."

"Hey. You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Sawyer wise-cracked. I glared death at him, and he remembered that my parents were dead. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, then sat down next to me.

"Look," he said, sighing. He opened his mouth a few times, as if he couldn't find the right words to say.

"Don't strain yourself," I jibed. I could tell he wasn't the consoling type.

"There's really nothing we can do except hope," Sawyer said. "Maybe, if we're lucky, it'll help." I stared at him, and he quailed under my gaze. He finally cried, "What? What more do you want?"

"Nothing," I answered. "Thank you." Sawyer grumbled. Somehow, his words had stopped my tears.

We sat next to each other for a long time. Sawyer finally got up, said a quick goodbye, and left. I stared out into the rolling ocean, then crawled to my tent.

Hours passed. It rained a bit, but other than that, nothing changed. I was beginning to feel sick with worry when Sayid walked up.

"They've found Charlie," he said breathlessly. I looked up at him, eyes wide. I got up immediately. Sayid helped me to the caves, when I found a very shaken up Charlie sitting on the ground.

"Oh," I cried in relief. "Oh, Charlie! I'm so glad you're okay!" I hugged him fiercely, then pulled back and looked in his eyes. They were frighteningly empty.

"Charlie," I said, shaking him. He finally stopped looking through me, and looked at me. "Did you fight? Did you protect her as much as you could?" Charlie nodded. The look on his face made me want to cry, but I didn't. Not yet. "At least you _did_ something. All I could do was… wait." I hugged Charlie again, then got up and left.

I slept most of the next day. The day after, I was surprised to see the blonde girl with Sayid. They were bent over some maps that Sayid had taken from a French woman in the jungle.

As I got closer, I could tell that both of them were frustrated. The girl was struggling to translate the maps, until Sayid said something to make her leave in a huff. I waited until she left, then entered his tent.

"Who was she?" I asked, sitting on the corner of his table.

"Shannon," he replied. I noticed how clipped his movements were. I could tell he was angry.

"You gotta give the girl some credit," I began. "I mean, she was trying pretty hard to translate those papers. Maybe it's what she's trying to translate that's weird, not her translation of it." Sayid was glaring at me, and I shrugged. "Just a suggestion," I said. I hopped off the table and went back to my tent.

The rest of my day was spent drawing. I finally got Sawyer down. I guess my spending a bit more time with it made his portrait easier.

I spent more time with Sayid and Shannon the next day. Just as I had noticed the chemistry between Charlie and Claire, I saw Sayid and Shannon warm up to each other. They had light, easy conversations, and they seemed to enjoy each other's company.

Shannon left to go do something or other, and I nudged Sayid with my elbow once she'd gone. "Yeah?" I asked, motioning to Shannon. "Yeah?" Sayid gave me a weary look.

We were talking when Shannon's brother Boone walked up.

"Stay away from my sister," he said to Sayid. I admired his protectiveness towards his sister, but Sayid wasn't some monster. He wasn't going to hurt Shannon.

Sayid wasn't the least bit intimidated, but Boone didn't back down. I saw him clench his fists, and spoke up.

"I'm sorry, we didn't realize she belonged to you," I said sweetly. "Why don't you put a collar on her with a little tag that says 'Property of Boone' so everyone knows?" Boone growled low in his throat and took a step towards me.

"Boone!" The creepy bald man—Locke—called. I saw Boone's jaw clench and unclench, but he turned to go.

"Yeah, fuck off!" I yelled, flipping off his back. "Pog mo thoin, bitch!" Sayid gave me a look. "My granma was Irish," I said, grinning widely. Besides learning lots of interesting Irish insults, she taught me how to win in a barfight.

Sayid shook his head as if to say 'You're hopeless'. I smiled again, and Shannon came into view.

"I'll leave you two alone," I stage-whispered, and walked away with a little wave of my fingers.


	11. Braids

I didn't do much else the rest of the day. I drew some, listened to my music, and went to sleep early. After waking up just long enough to see the sunrise, I fell asleep again.

When I woke up again, I saw Charlie walking towards Claire's stuff.

"Hey, Charlie!" I called, following him. Charlie was going through Claire's stuff. "What're you doing?" Charlie was still riffling through her bags.

"Where's her diary?" He asked. I shrugged. Kate, who had been standing nearby, stepped forward.

"Sawyer probably has it," Kate offered, and Charlie's eyes darkened. I followed Charlie and Kate as they walked towards Sawyer's tent. I sensed a fight coming on.

Charlie stood next to him and said, "Where's Claire's diary?"

Sawyer lifted up a little black book, grinning widely. "Right here," he said. Charlie grabbed for it, but Sawyer yanked it back out of his reach. "Ah, ah, ah! You gotta give me something in return."

"Give it to me," Charlie growled. Sawyer shook his head, the smug look still on his face.

Whenever I wanted something from Sawyer and he was being stupid about it, I wanted to punch him. Charlie took it a step up from just wanting to. He pulled back his arm, and clocked Sawyer a good one across the jaw. Charlie grabbed the diary and stormed off.

At first I was a little worried about Sawyer, but then I couldn't help the laughter that escaped from my lips. Kate gave Sawyer a disgusted look and left.

"I'm glad you find this funny," Sawyer hissed, rubbing his jaw.

I covered my mouth, snickering. "You got punched… for being a crotchstain," I laughed. "Oh God, I wanted to do that when I tried to get some sketchbooks." I shook with laughter. "Okay, um… do you want me to get you an ice pack?" I asked. Sawyer pointed to a black bag in the corner of the tent, and I pawed through it. I was surprised to find one of them still relatively cool.

I pressed an ice pack to his face, still grinning. Sawyer sighed at me.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" I began, but I couldn't stop laughing. "Okay, I'll stop. Promise." I smoothed out a few of Sawyer's stray hairs, trying hard to keep my promise. "Here. You can take it?" I asked, indicating the ice pack. Sawyer took the pack, and I began combing through his hair with my fingers.

"You know," I began, separating out three strands from Sawyer's hair, "maybe if you acted like less of a jerk, you would be liked more." I began to braid his hair.

"Who says I want to be liked?" Sawyer retorted. I finished the braid and began another one.

"It's in every human's basic self-interest to be liked," I explained. If only I had little rubber bands to tie these braids off with! "You get a better life if you're liked." I had finished four braids, and started a fifth one. "I mean, people can't stand you. _I_ can barely stand you." I chuckled.

"And yet you still keep coming back to me," Sawyer drawled. "I guess you can't get enough of my Southern charm, huh?"

I cried out in anger, and punched Sawyer lightly in the back. "_What_ Southern charm?" I mocked.

"Ow, hey! I got punched once today, I'd like to keep it to a minimum!" Sawyer snapped, but I could hear an undertone of playfulness in his voice. "You punch like a girl."

"Yeah? Well, you _take_ hits like a girl," I countered. Finally, I finished the braids. Neat little braids, all over Sawyer's head, about 15 or 20 of them.

Sawyer ran a hand over his head, sensing something was wrong. "Hey," he said, panicked. "Hey! What the hell did you _do_?" Sawyer looked around to me, but I was already walking back to my tent.

I took a small nap, and when I finally moved around, it was to go to Sayid's tent.

"Sayid," I groaned, sitting in a chair next to him. "I wish I could be out looking for Claire instead of just moping around." Sayid patted my arm, nodding. He was distracted, however, and I noticed the way his eyes searched the maps in front of him. "Maybe you should call your girlfriend over here to help," I suggested wryly, poking Sayid in the arm.

"She's _not_ my girlfriend," Sayid replied, not looking up.

"Yeah, but you _want_ her to be," I sniped, resting my chin on the table. Just like how Sawyer didn't deny his liking for Kate, Sayid didn't say anything either. I chuckled. A lot of my friends back home had been like this, liking another friend of theirs. I had learned to pick up on all the little signals they sent each other, and as an artist, I was prone to picking up on little details.

I was thinking of my friends, eyes shut, when Charlie walked up. "Sayid, do you know anything about a black rock?" He asked.

"Why?" Sayid asked in response. I raised my head in wide-eyed interest. Charlie looked uncomfortable for a minute. I saw Claire's diary sticking out of his pocket.

"You read her diary?" I asked incredulously. Charlie shifted his feet. "How very nosy of you, Charlie!" Charlie made a face.

"I wanted to see if I could find out anything that would help Claire!" Charlie cried. I scoffed, but accepted his reason.

The scary thing was that there was something called 'Black Rock' on the map. Charlie wanted to go find it, but Sayid told him it wouldn't be wise to go at night. I agreed, and stayed with Sayid until I felt tiredness creep into the corners of my mind. When it began to press into the back of my eyelids, I went back to my tent and went to sleep.

--

Sorry for the absence.

Thanks SassyLostie and Emily! I like how you guys check in every chapter.

OctoberSky, thank you for the amazing review. I was thrilled to find out that Marie's reactions were realistic. Is it like that for the whole story, or just for the first few chapters? I'm starting to think that as I progress, it gets less realistic. I hope not.


	12. One Agonizing Second

I woke up earlier than normal. I must have slept for only an hour or something, because it was still dark outside. I got up, and decided to go to the caves to look for Charlie. I missed him.

The jungle was less scary than I thought it would be. I was walking when I heard rustling noises, and turned to see Locke and Boone running towards the caves. I craned my neck. Locke was carrying something—a person? _Claire?_

I moved faster, breaking into a shuffling run. "Boone," I yelled. He turned around, waiting patiently for me to catch up. I was surprised that he did, especially after I had yelled at him. "Is that… did you find… Claire? Was that Claire?" I panted, and Boone nodded.

We were running to the caves, until I tripped and nearly fell. Boone quickly steadied me, which made me regret yelling at him even more. If I were him, I would be nothing but pissed at my sorry self.

"Hey," I said. "I'm sorry for yelling at you the other day. I know how protective brothers can be of their sisters. I was completely out of line, and I'm… I'm sorry." Boone nodded understandingly, and I sighed in relief.

We finally made it to the caves, where we found Jack. A crowd gathered around us, and I saw Charlie fight his way through. Jack had her now, and was busy trying to regain consciousness. But she wasn't responding.

"Is… is she alive?" Charlie asked. I was standing by him, and he grabbed my hand. I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

For an agonizing second, it looked like Claire wasn't going to wake up.

Finally, Claire's eyelid's fluttered. I laughed, scrubbing my tears away. But Claire began to scream, and Jack had to calm her down.

"Claire, you're all right now, you're safe," Jack said. Claire stopped screaming to look at Jack. Her eyebrows were knit together in confusion.

"Who are you?" She asked.

I paced around after that, thinking. How could Claire have lost her memory like that? Maybe what happened to her was so bad, that her mind rebooted. Maybe she had forgotten everything, lest she remember something that broke her to the very core. Charlie must be heartbroken.

Speaking of Charlie… I looked around for him, and found him talking to Claire.

"Hey," I said when Charlie walked by. "Where you going?"

"Back to the beaches," he said. "Jin's coming too. You wanna?" I nodded.

"Safety in numbers, right?" I asked, linking arms with Charlie. He grinned at me.

We were maybe halfway there when Jin got knocked out by a flying rock too fast for us to react. Charlie stood in front of me, making me protest. The toughness was just an act, however; my heart was racing like a scared rabbit. I was kind of glad that Charlie was standing in front of me.

He wasn't for long, though. He was suddenly hoisted away by a dark-haired man. I watched him say something to Charlie, and swallowed my fear. Was I just going to let this bastard hurt my friend? I walked up behind the man, and tapped him on the shoulder. When he looked back to me, I punched him across the jaw as hard as I could.

Good-old Granma Molly. I put my entire weight behind the blow, just as she had told me. I was delighted to see blood spray from the man's mouth. I must have at least cut his lip for there to be blood.

It didn't seem to affect him, though. The man whirled around, and before I could defend myself, punched me across the face. An explosion of pain rocked my body, and stars clouded my vision.

I spat a curse under my breath, and tried to punch the man again. He grabbed my wrist, and pulled me into a stomach punch. I coughed, and blacked out.

When I cam to, I was back in my tent. I sat up, wincing, and brushed my fingers against the side of my face. I soon regretted the action, though. It hurt to touch it.

"You look like crap," someone said. I looked up to see Sawyer grinning at me.

"Go away," I groaned, running a hand through my hair. An ice-pack thumped into my shoulder and onto the sand.

"Thought you might want something," he said. I picked up the pack, and pressed it to my face. I hissed in pain. Sawyer left while I examined my stomach. Yup, bruises there too.

I slept most of the day away. When I woke up, it was the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep, for some reason. I was insanely restless, and my toes were tingling. I was just beginning to shut my eyes again when I heard a scream.

I scrambled up, cursing. I found Sayid on my way to the noise, and we exchanged looks. When we got there, my stomach heaved. Just as I had done on my first day here, I ducked my head into Sayid's shoulder.

"Is he… dead?" I asked, swallowing. Sayid murmured a confirmation. I squeezed my eyes shut.

I heard people whispering, which made me look up. I saw Claire, who had just arrived at the scene. People were glaring at her. Anger flared in my stomach, but I knew calling attention to it would embarrass Claire.

"Hey, Claire, come on," I said, taking her hand and leading her away.

"Why's everyone staring at me?" Claire asked quietly. I was surprised that Charlie hadn't told her. I explained to her how she was kidnapped, and how the man who had kidnapped her wanted her back. The man that he had killed was his price, and he would keep killing until he got her back.

Claire looked shocked. "Why didn't Charlie…?" She asked, trailing off. I could almost see the gears turning in her head.

"He cares about you, Claire," I said. "You two had this wonderful chemistry together. Charlie just wants to protect you." I noticed the look in her eyes, and said, "Don't get mad at him, okay?"

Sayid called my name, and I said a quick goodbye to Claire. I trotted off to Sayid, calling, "What?" I noticed something strange in his hand, and froze when I saw the gun. "What's going on?" I took a step backwards. I didn't like guns.

"We're going to go find Ethan," Sayid said. Ethan was the man who'd kidnapped Claire, I remembered. "We need you to help us contain him."

"M-me?" I blurted out. Surely, he was joking! "But… but I—"

"You already proved yourself," he murmured, and his hand came up to brush against the bruises on my cheek.

"But… he knocked me out. I only got in one punch," I mumbled, flushing. It was embarrassing to point out that I'd lost a fight.

"Trust me," Sayid said. I finally nodded.

When I looked around, I saw Charlie arguing with Jack. Finally, Charlie shook his head angrily and stomped off. I felt a pang of concern for him, but we were already leaving.

I knew how Claire wanted to use herself as bait to catch this guy. I worked my way up to her, and said, "You sure about this?" She nodded. Her eyes were steely; her jaw was grimly set. We finally got to where she would meet Ethan. I gave Claire a quick hug. "Be careful."

I waited with bated breath, until Ethan finally walked out of the undergrowth. The sight of him sent an icy finger of fear trailing up and down my spine. He was just so… creepy looking. But a small cut on his lip offset the fear in me, and installed a new feeling: pride. _I_ had made that cut, even if I got knocked out for it.

Suddenly Jack hurtled out of the bushes and tackled Ethan. The two rolled around, until Jack finally pinned Ethan down. He punched Ethan over and over again, making me nervous.

_He'll kill him!_ I thought when Jack punched Ethan again. I glanced over at Sayid, who looked just as calm as ever. I didn't want to lose my resolve, but I also didn't want to see a guy beat to death.

However, when I looked back, Jack had stopped hitting Ethan. Our group moved around the two, ensuring that Ethan wouldn't get away. Finally, we could learn more of what he did to Claire, and what was going on with this island.

But suddenly, out of nowhere, a bullet slammed into Ethan. Four or five more followed it before he fell. I looked around, shocked, until my eyes focused on a long figure with a gun.

_Charlie?_

--

Dumb way to end it, I know, but I didn't want to make this any longer. Also, it's 1:36 AM. I'm tired.


	13. A Tornado of Boar

I stared at Charlie, shocked beyond all measure. Every detail of the scene pressed into my mind: the rain dripping off of Charlie's nose, the way his eyes reflected the steel in the gun, the wet glisten of the gun. "What… he just…" I choked. Sayid gently took my arm and began leading me away from the dead Ethan. He always seemed to do that for me when these situations arose, always tried to shield me from the violence as best he could. I smiled gratefully at him. My legs shook.

I went back to my tent in a horrible mood. I couldn't get past the way Charlie had looked holding the gun. I couldn't get past the familiarity of the scene. I didn't sleep that night.

Come morning, I felt dead. When I turned on to the world, instead of zoning out, I heard a grumbling. I looked around to see Sawyer's tent in shambles. It looked as if a bomb had gone off in it.

"Did a tornado hit last night without my knowing?" I asked. Sawyer gave me a furious look. I watched him stub his foot on something metal, and asked tentatively, "Do you… want some help?" When he didn't say no, I began moving things. "Seriously, about the tornado? There really wasn't one, right?"

"More like a boar than a tornado," Sawyer growled.

"A tornado of boar?" I suggested.

"That fits the description, yeah," he replied. "Apparently, the damn thing had the bright idea to ransack my tent and steal my roof."

"Let me guess—you're going to get revenge, right?" I said. Sawyer mad a non-committal noise that I took as a yes. "Don't hurt yourself out there." I patted him on the shoulder, and went back to my tent.

I didn't fail to notice how Kate seemed to disappear around the same time that Sawyer went out. When he got back the next morning, I padded over to his tent. "So, did you and Kate get it on last night?" I asked, a smug smile gracing my lips. "Did you two fall asleep in a passionate embrace after some rambunctious—"

Sawyer shoved me before I could finish my sentence. I laughed at him, and walked away before he felt the need to kill me.

I went around in search of people I knew, and found Charlie husking coconuts. I joined in, observing him closely. Something was off about him. I was just about to ask what was wrong when Sayid walked up.

"Charlie, are you alright?" He asked. Charlie scoffed.

"I'm on to you," he snapped. "I'm _not_ sorry for shooting Ethan. He was an animal—he deserved it. He kidnapped Claire and he tried to kill me. And I would do it again in a _second_ if I had to."

_Charlie…_ I thought. I stopped husking the coconut that was in my hand, and looked down. Sayid was telling a story, but I wasn't really paying attention. Finally, Sayid said something more, and left.

"Charlie," I murmured. "Was it really that easy…?" I looked up at him, and was ashamed to feel tears in my eyes.

I didn't wait for an answer. Instead, I got up and quickly walked away. My vision swam; I wiped away the tears until I could see again.

I slept the rest of the day, and woke up to find Michael yelling at Jin instead of working on the raft. I stood up, worried that they were going to fight again, but then Jin's wife slapped Michael across the face. I searched my mind for her name: Sun, her name was Sun.

Sayid and Shannon walked by my tent, heading for the raft. "Hey," I called. "Wait up." They paused, and I trotted over to them. When we got to the raft, Sayid began to flirt shamelessly with Shannon. Finally, Shannon gave Sayid a coy smile and suggested they go on a date. I turned my head and made a small gagging noise, indicating my disgust at their rather open display of affection.

I followed Sayid to his tent when he left, pestering him mercilessly. "You gonna bring her flowers and chocolate, lover-boy?" I asked, shoving him. He gently shoved me back, not answering. A small smile curved up the corners of his mouth, though. I laughed, and went back to my own tent.

Later that night, I was drawing when I heard a commotion. I looked up, and noticed an orange glow cast upon the sand. Fire? I looked around, and finally focused on the burning raft.

"Oh, no!" I cried, and immediately ran to help. However, when we finally put the fire out, the raft had sustained heavy damage. I sighed, brushing my hair back from my face.

I was trying to draw again in the morning when I heard shouts. _Can't I get at least some time to myself without something bad happening? _I thought angrily, and saw Sawyer drag a very exhausted-looking Jin into camp. He threw Jin down onto the sand, and untied his hands. A group of castaways had already gathered around him. Michael broke through the ranks and punched Jin, who didn't even fight back. I ran towards them, planning to interrupt them, but an arm caught me around the waist. I looked up to see Sawyer.

"Let me go!" I cried, struggling wildly.

"Don't you know that Jin was the on that burned the raft?" Sawyer yelled back. Michael punched Jin again, flooring him. If this kept up…

"That doesn't mean that we start acting like savages!" I shouted. "Sawyer, he'll kill him! _Please!_" Sawyer's arm was like a vice; I just _couldn't break free_…

"Stop it!" Somebody screamed, and Sun stepped forward from the crowd. She began to plead with Michael, in English. Sawyer finally let me go, and I gave him a disbelieving look before heading back to my tent.

I needed to be stronger. I couldn't even get Sawyer off me when somebody's life was in danger. I fell asleep that night wondering if I really could save a person's life if they needed it.

--

Short, I know. Sorry. And I'm going to start going into Marie's past a little bit more, promise. I hope it's not too melodramatic.


	14. Out and Active Again

I woke up to the sounds of seagulls, crashing waves, and Sayid yelling. I looked around to find Sayid was yelling at Jack and Hurley, but for what I didn't know. I walked over to him when Jack and Hurley left, shooting looks at the two over my shoulder.

"What happened?" I asked. Sayid cleared his throat.

"Nothing," he replied. I sighed, took him by the shoulders, and spun him around to face me. I was so sick of not being told what was going on, just because people wanted to protect me.

"You can tell me," I coaxed. Finally, Sayid gave in.

"Jack and Hurley want me to build them something that would send an SOS signal from the raft," he explained, "but to do that, I would need a battery. And the only one who has batteries is—"

"That French chick," I finished. Sayid nodded. "And you don't want to go back there because she might electrocute you again, and because she probably wouldn't give something like that up." Sayid nodded again, his eyes sparkling.

"Clever," he complimented. I smiled and shrugged.

"I guess," I replied. I kept him company for the rest of the day, and the next morning too. I followed him when he stormed off to the caves, looking furious about something.

Sayid stomped up to Jack, who was just standing around minding his own business, and starting ripping into him.

"Where are the maps?" He yelled. "You took them, didn't you?"

"Hey, Sayid, calm down—" I said, putting a hand on his arm. Sayid angrily shook me off, giving me a murderous glance.

"Don't involve yourself in this!" He snapped at me, then turned back to Jack. "And what's worse, you get Hurley to take the maps, instead of getting them yourself!" Poor Jack had this bewildered expression on his face.

"Sayid, I don't think he did anything," I murmured, tugging on Sayid's sleeve. Sayid looked from me to Jack, and I could almost see him deflate. Jack shook his head. "Then Hurley must have his own agenda," I mused. Charlie suddenly walked up, and dropped a bundle of wood into the wood pile.

"Hey, Charlie," Jack said. "Do you know where Hurley is?"

"Oh, yeah, he went for a walk," Charlie answered. "Acting like a complete loon, too, if I may add."

Sayid and Jack exchanged looks, and I could see what they were thinking.

"I'm coming with you," I said, clenching my jaw and giving all the men defiant looks.

"No," Jack said.

"Absolutely not," Sayid said at the same time. Charlie just nodded.

I gave a frustrated sigh. "Look," I began, trying to convince them, "I know you guys want to keep me safe. But I can take care of myself, trust me." Sayid and Jack went off and had a whispered conversation, while I was left standing around with Charlie. Charlie opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but Jack and Sayid came back at that moment.

"You can come," Sayid said. I grinned, but he wasn't done talking. "But if you start slowing us down, even a little bit, you're going back." I nodded.

We left a little while later, heading in the direction of the French woman. I loved being out and active again, even if my leg gave me a painful jolt once in a while.

About thirty minutes after we entered the jungle, we heard a click, and Sayid's face went from wary to scared. I hated that expression on his face. It was so out of place, so unnatural. Seeing him even the slightest bit scared made me terrified.

"Hurley!" Sayid yelled. We ran into a clearing, and there stood Hurley, his weight balanced precariously on his right leg. "Don't move! That's a pressure trigger! If you take your weight off it, that—" Sayid pointed up to a log covered with spikes. "—will come down on you!"

Sayid and Charlie began searching for something that would be able to replace Hurley's weight, and I walked up to him.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" I asked, checking him over, but Hurley was focused on the log.

"I can make it," Hurley murmured. I stared at him like he was crazy.

"No, Hurley, don't try it!" Jack yelled. I shook my head at Hurley, but he had made up his mind.

"I can make it, I'm spry!" Hurley yelled. Sayid moved towards him, but Hurley had already jumped. I hadn't moved back in time, so I was right in the way of the spiky log. I shut my eyes, preparing for the worst, but somebody tackled me down to the floor.

I opened my eyes to Jack lying on top of me. I blushed, and coughed.

"Thank you," I said as he hastily stood up. He pulled me up, and I smiled shakily at him. Hurley had made it, too, and the spiky log was harmlessly swinging back and forth. Sayid was scolding Hurley.

Jack asked Hurley why he had come out here, but Hurley ignored his question and just kept walking. We had no choice but to follow, since Hurley obviously wasn't paying attention to reason.

We got to a bridge in a few minutes. I stared at it, and whispered, "There's no way the French lady could have made this herself." Sayid glanced at me, and I caught a glimpse of a strange expression in his eyes. Before I could identify it, however, he looked back at the bridge.

"I'll go first," Hurley said. He was on the bridge before anybody could stop him. He made it across safely, which made me want to go next. Sayid grabbed my wrist, trying to convince me not to go. I gently unhooked his fingers, and went anyways. When I made it across, Charlie followed.

However, the bridge couldn't handle any more strain. When Charlie was maybe two-thirds of the way across, it broke.

"Charlie!" I cried, holding out my hand to him. He grabbed it, and I yanked him back just in time. If he had been a second slower, or if I hadn't have held out my hand, he might not have made it.

"Hey, I'm okay!" Charlie yelled to Sayid and Jack, laughing. The two sighed in relief. I wanted to stay and plan out what to do now, but Hurley just kept on walking. I guess the plan was to just keep going.

I shot one last look back at Sayid and Jack, then followed Hurley.

Gosh, I'm so sorry about being gone so long! I had my internet taken away for a while, and just managed to find a loophole to upload this. Hope you like it!


	15. Grey Sweater

"Marie," Charlie said, moving back to me. Hurley was going at a fast pace, and as much as I hated it, I was beginning to lag behind.

"Yeah?" I asked, pushing ahead as best I could. I hoped Charlie couldn't see me clenching my jaw in pain.

"Howcome when I said I didn't regret shooting Ethan, you got all… weirded out?" Charlie asked. I stopped for a moment, then continued walking. Did I really want to tell Charlie about what happened? Did I _really_ want to open up like that?

"Um…" I faltered, wondering where to start. "Well, when I was fourteen, a burglar broke into my house. I had an older brother." I smiled, remembering my brother. "He was two years older than me, and so protective of me. The burglar grabbed me, and told my bother that if he didn't cooperate, he would shoot me." My voice was getting lower, and my eyes began to sting. "I kicked the burglar, and hit his arm. The gun fell towards my brother, and he picked it up. He made the burglar let it go, and then…" I stopped. I didn't want to remember the rest.

"Then…?" Charlie probed. I swallowed.

I took a shaky breath and glanced at Charlie. "The burglar begged for his life. He got down on his knees and begged. And my brother… my brother just pulled the trigger. He shot the burglar in the face," I murmured. I trembled as I saw the blood splatter on my back wall in my mind's eye. "The court declared the murder self-defense, so he didn't get any jail time. And I watched the realization of what he had just done sink in. I watched, as the guilt slowly killed him from the inside."

I looked up as a bird flew overhead, shrieking insults down at us. I hesitated in continuing.

"What happened to your brother?" Charlie asked softly.

"Finally, it became too much for him to handle, and he killed himself," I answered bluntly. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled sadly at Charlie.

A sudden explosion made us all look up. "What the hell was that?" Charlie cried.

"Jack! Sayid!" Hurley yelled. Charlie and Hurley began arguing, while I looked around. I didn't know why, but I had an uneasy feeling settled in my stomach, and I wanted to get moving, _fast_.

"Hey," I whispered to Charlie, moving closer to him for comfort. "Hey, you guys, I think we should get—Ah!" A bullet ricocheting off a tree nearby made me jump.

"Dude," Hurley said quietly. "Is somebody shooting at—" Another shot rang out, and we all took off running. I followed Charlie, and I thought Hurley followed me.

My feet pounded the ground, and my lungs started burning. I grit my teeth past the pain, and sped up. Suddenly my foot snagged on an upturned tree root, and I plowed face-first into the ground.

"Fuck!" I hissed furiously, glancing at my foot. I saw Charlie turn back around and start heading for me. "No, you idiot! Keep going!" I tried to wave him away, but he came anyways. He scooped me up in a split second, and started to run again.

He finally stopped running, but only for a minute to catch his breath. He leaned over, his hands on his knees. I could see sweat run down his face, and felt ashamed that I made him work even more to carry me. "You…" He panted. "You okay, Marie?" I nodded.

"You know, it was stupid to come back for me," I mumbled at him. He smiled.

"I very well couldn't just leave you at the mercy of a torturous French woman, now could I?" Charlie replied.

"I can w-walk," I stammered, protesting feebly, but I enjoyed the physical contact. At least I had one person to count on in this place.

We finally broke out into the clearing where the French woman's decimated shelter was, and found Sayid and Jack standing nearby. "Somebody was shootin' at us," Charlie gasped while I hugged Sayid in relief.

"Rousseau," Sayid murmured, looking at Jack.

"Where's Hurley?" Jack asked.

"He isn't behind us?" I cried, looking around frantically. "_Damn_ it! He must have run the opposite way we were going."

Sayid and Jack exchanged looks. "I'll go find him," Sayid said, starting to take off his pack.

"No, no—we'll all go," Jack interrupted. We were just moving out when someone said, "Go where?"

Hurley walked out of the surround jungle and into the clearing. "Need a battery?" He asked Jack, handing him a metal box that he had taken out of his pack. I stared at him, open-mouthed, but I was glad he came back. He looked at Sayid. "She says hey." After I met Charlie's eyes and gave him a confused look, we began to walk back to our camp.

We got to the beaches by nightfall. My tent looked inviting, but I searched for Charlie instead of going back to it. I found him, finally, and walked up to him.

"Hey, Marie," he said warmly. I smiled at him.

"Hey Charlie," I replied. "Hey, um… thanks for coming back for me. You know, in the jungle. It was… I appreciate it." I stared down at my feet, until Charlie gently grasped my chin and lifted my head up.

"I wasn't gonna leave you there," he said, smiling softly. I nodded, and he kissed me on the cheek. I hugged him in return, and went to my blankets.

I was sifting through my bags for something to wear to sleep when I found a grey turtleneck sweater. I fingered the material, impossibly soft and worn from the years I'd had it. It was ribbed, too, my favorite kind of sweater. I pulled it over my head, and pressed my nose into the sleeves.

The sweater had been my brother's, and one of his favorites also. It was big on me, but I loved the way it felt. Sometimes, if I concentrated on it hard enough, I could catch a hint of the way my brother used to smell. He had used this old cologne, and so far, I hadn't been able to find it after he died. He never told me where he bought it.

I curled up into a ball, and fell asleep with the smell of my brother in my nose.

--

Is it too melodramatic? I get the feeling it is. :c


	16. Don't Forget to Breathe

The next day was nice and sunny. I stared into the clear blue water, tempted. Finally, I couldn't stand just watching the blue waves anymore. I went into a secluded spot, changed into my bathing suit, and hurried down the beach.

I dropped my clothes at the water's edge, and dove in. I had expected the water to be cold—the water back home always was—but the temperature was perfect. I could stay in the ocean here forever.

My nice swim was interrupted, however. I heard barking, and opened my eyes to see the golden retriever running away from me—_with my clothes in his mouth_.

"No!" I cried, swimming towards shore. It was too late. The dog had already disappeared from my sight. I spat curses vehemently under my breath, wondering what to do. I didn't want to go looking for the dog, not in my bathing suit. I was self-conscious of my bathing-suit clad body in front of even my closest friends. In front of these strangers, it would be much worse.

When I looked up, I noticed Sawyer sitting on the beach. It was a long shot, but if I could just get him to…

I swam up to the water's edge, and called, "Sawyer! Sawyer!" Sawyer looked up, eyes confused.

"Going for a little midday swim, Tink?" He drawled to me, walking up to the water's edge.

"I need your shirt," I said, watching as his eyes widened. "No, not like _that_, you idiot! That dog stole my clothes, and I don't wanna look for him in my bathing suit."

A smirk spread across Sawyer's face. "Personally, I don't think anybody would mind," he said, making me blush.

"Just shut up and get me a shirt," I mumbled. Sawyer disappeared inside his tent, and came out with one of his plaid button-down shirts. I looked around quickly, making sure nobody was coming, and dashed out. Sawyer had brought me a towel, too. Thoughtful.

I darted into Sawyer's tent. After drying myself off, I pulled on the shirt and buttoned it up. It was the same kind of shirt my brother used to wear in the wintertime. I lifted up my hands; the cuffs went past my thumbs, just how I loved it.

"Hey! You havin' a party in there or something?" Sawyer yelled from outside. I jumped, snapping out of my reverie.

"No," I replied, walking out. The shirt was huge on me; the end of it rested just above my knees. "Thank you for the shirt."

"You'd look better without it," Sawyer jibed. I sneered at him, and sat down next to him. He must have noticed how quiet I was, and asked, "You okay?" I fingered the hem of the shirt, wondering.

"My older brother would wear these shirts, when it was cold, " I murmured. "I used to steal them, cause I loved the way they felt." I fussed with a stray thread on the shirt cuff. After a deep breath, I looked up and said, "He… died a year ago. I packed one of his shirts in my luggage, but… I can't find it." I sniffed and wiped my eyes on my sleeves.

"Those are _my_ sleeves you're wiping your tears all over," Sawyer huffed. I made a face at him. He scooted closer to me, and put an arm around my shoulders.

"What are you doing?" I whispered. Sawyer sighed at me.

"I'm comforting you. Can't you tell?" He replied gruffly.

It was quiet. It was as quiet as it was after my brother shot that burglar, when I could hear his heart break.

I went back to my tent after the tender exchange between me and Sawyer. I saw him so much more differently now than I did when we first crashed here. He was a good friend, a confidante. I was so much more relaxed around him now. I fell asleep with Sawyer's face in my mind's eye.

When I woke up, I was standing in a dark room. _What happened?_ I thought, glancing around frantically. A glint of light caught my eye, and I immediately recognized the trophy on a nightstand.

I walked up to it, running my fingers over the gilded figure atop its pillar of marble. Football, that was it. He was the quarterback on our school football team. I went to his games all the time.

Suddenly, I heard a gunshot. Oh, God, no, I thought, dashing into the hallway. My stomach felt as if it had fallen through my body. The bathroom was at the end of the hall. A soft, golden light radiated out from underneath the door. When I burst into the room, I saw legs dangling over the side of the bathtub.

"Will?" I screamed. "William!" I yanked the shower curtain off its rings, the sound bouncing off the tile walls. He was slumped against the back of the bathtub. Blood patterned the wall behind him, starkly red against the white tile. Like stripes on a candy-cane.

My brother's face was cold in my hands. I watched as his eyes, a deep cerulean blue, dimmed. I watched the life drain out of them.

Again.

"Please," I sobbed. "Please, God. Not again. Don't do this to me again!"

I woke up crying. My chest had tightened into an impossibly small knot. I curled into a ball, and sobbed brokenly. Whenever this happened back home, I would call my best friend Scott. He'd calm me down, assure me that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't do anything to stop it. I didn't have a Scott here.

I gathered up my blanket, rocking back and forth as I cried. I already ached from the heaviness of the sobs. I felt that if I didn't stop crying soon, I would die.

Sayid was with Shannon. Sawyer, on the other hand…

I got up slowly, trying not to fall over. I stumbled over to Sawyer's tent until I stood in front of him. He stirred and peered up at me.

"What the hell?" He groaned. "Jesus Christ, Tinkerbell, what are you do—" I fell down beside him, sobbing, and clutched at his chest. Sawyer tensed up in shock.

"I couldn't save him," I choked out. "I couldn't—I _can't_—" Sawyer must have had a million questions, but he didn't ask me anything. I was grateful to him for that, and for what he did next.

His arms folded around me, enveloping me, shielding me. Finally, my chest loosened, and I could breathe again. I didn't stop crying, though. I didn't know why.

"Hey," Sawyer murmured, brushing my hair out of my face. "You okay now? What happened?" I sniffed, and wiped my eyes.

"I didn't stop my brother from pulling the trigger," I whispered. More tears streamed down my face. "If I had stopped him from killing that burglar… If I had stopped him from killing _himself_…" I trembled, until Sawyer wiped my tears away.

"It wasn't your fault that a burglar broke into your house," he told me. "C'mon, stop crying." I nodded, and rested my head on his chest after a moment.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" I asked softly. His heart-beat was soothing, his body warm.

"Fine," he sighed. "But if I wake up tomorrow with my pants off, then I'll just assume you wanted my sex." I snorted sarcastically, but smiled nonetheless.

I fell asleep curled up against Sawyer's back, sharing both his body heat and his reassurance.

--

Ah-HA! I bet you all thought I was dead, huh? Well, I sure fooled you, didn't I! Anyways. Extremely sorry for the lack of updates, what with testing going on and some family problems that needed to be worked out. Thanks for being patient, you guys!


	17. Friendly Affection

I woke up without opening my eyes. I yawned, and after a few moments of soaking up the warm sunlight, finally slit my eyelids open.

My heart nearly stopped when I was met with Sawyer's face just centimeters away from mine. I jolted backwards instantaneously, one hand clutching at my racing heart. The sudden movement made Sawyer wake up.

"Shit," I whispered. Sawyer shot up, looking as shocked as I felt.

"What the hell are you—" He began, but by the look on his face, he began to remember last night. It came back to me at about the same moment, and I must have turned the brightest shade of red on this side of the world.

"I'm sorry," I said, relaxing just a little. Sawyer smiled at me, his cheeks dimpling. I hadn't really noticed how nice a genuine smile of his looked. "I… I don't know what I was thinking, just coming to you like that."

"Hey, no problem," Sawyer said, smirking at me. I could tell he was enjoying my plight. "My pleasure." I walked back to my tent with my face still burning.

After composing myself at my tent, I decided to get my mind off Sawyer and his infuriatingly cute dimples, and trotted over to Sayid's tent. "Hey, Sayid," I chirped, plopping down next to him. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Did you and Sawyer enjoy yourselves last night?" He asked. The blush rose again, but I ground it down.

Instead of answering, I shot back, "Not as much fun as you and Shannon had, I'm sure!" I winced at how immature I sounded at first, but then I realized what had made that type of answer so much fun: gauging people's reactions.

Sayid's reaction wasn't nearly as much fun as others I'd seen. He chuckled, and at first I thought he just dismissed it. But then I noticed his clenched jaw, his tight muscles. What was this? Was this just Sayid being protective, or… No, he couldn't _possibly_ be jealous, could he? He had that blonde bombshell Shannon on his arm! There was absolutely _no reason_ for him to be jealous of Sawyer for spending time with me.

"So why were you in Sawyer's bed this morning?" He asked. I gave him my most shocked look.

"Because me and Sawyer had just had a wild night filled with hot, passionate sex, that's why," I scoffed. Sayid stared at me. "God, no! Because I had a nightmare, and Sawyer was… he was _there._" By the look on Sayid's face, he still didn't believe me. "Please believe me," I said quietly. "There's no way I would give myself to _him_."

Finally, Sayid's eyes softened, and I knew he had accepted my answer as the truth. I smiled, and after a few moments of silence, I took Sayid's hand. I began to play with his fingers.

"Back at home, whenever I did this, my friends would always look at me funny," I said, smiling sadly. "My brother was the only one who wouldn't slap me away." Sayid nodded, and he brushed a piece of hair off my cheek. I looked up at him, and saw his lips curved in to a small smile. There was a weird expression in his eyes, one I couldn't really place.

Jack suddenly walked up, and I dropped Sayid's hand as if it were a hot coal. Fire reddened my cheeks. "Sayid, would you weld a pair of glasses for Sawyer?" He asked. Sayid nodded, and Jack gave him a box filled with pairs of glasses. I picked up a pair with a thick, black plastic frame. My brother used this type when he read his giant books.

I sighed, picking at my cuticles and thinking furiously. What _was_ that just now? I _can't_ start liking Sayid as more than a friend. I mean, he and Shannon were… 'going out', I guess. I'm not the kind of girl to go after another girl's boyfriend, no way. That's a _serious _violation of my moral code.

Then what was that expression in Sayid's eyes? I wrote it off as just a friendly affection, like what a brother feels towards his sister. A heavy sigh puffed out my lips. God knows I need an older brother in this place.

"Marie," Sayid called, and I jumped. "Take these to Sawyer, please." I nodded, and made my way over to his tent. He had a scared look on his face again, like when he had shot the Marshal.

"What's wrong? You look like somebody told you that your dog's gonna die, or something," I said, handing Sawyer his glasses. Kate, who was at his side, smiled at me. I gave her a smile back, then fell down onto the sand next to him. It was hard to stifle my giggles when I saw Sawyer in the glasses.

"Dude," someone said. We all looked up to see Hurley standing in the sand. "Looks like somebody steam-rolled Harry Potter." His comment made Sawyer yank off his glasses. Kate and I grinned at each other before she got up and left. That left me alone with Sawyer, as I seemed to be a lot these days.

He sighed, staring at the glasses in his palm. "Don't want to ruin your bad-boy image?" I asked. He scowled at me, and I giggled again.

"As if people seeing me sleeping with you didn't ruin it enough already," he spat. I clamped my lips shut and fiddled with my shirt hem.

"Am I really that bad?" I asked quietly. I didn't know why I was hit by this sudden wave of self-consciousness, but I quickly covered it by adding, "At least I don't have glasses that made me look like a 90-year-old Jewish granma." Sawyer shoved me roughly with a growl, catching me off-guard. I cried out as I toppled over into the sand.

I slept most of the next day, thankfully missing all of the drama that Charlie told me about later. Apparently, everybody thought that Kate had poisoned Michael, and now she was being avoided and glared at by the rest of the camp. I glanced over at Kate, who looked small and alone in the vast expanse of dark around her. A sigh escaped my lips, but for some reason, I didn't want to get up and talk to her. Instead, I just closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

--

I'm wondering if I should make Marie more interested in Sawyer, or make her interested in Desmond when he comes around. Or maybe I should do both? Hmm…

Anyways, enjoy!


	18. Run Hide Or Die

I woke up to the sound of screaming. I was up as fast as I managed, and looked around wildly. I saw Sayid first, but an unfamiliar person caught my eye before I could call his name. However, I felt that if I had seen her burning, insane green eyes, I would definitely have remembered her.

I moved to the front of the already-gathering crowd, and asked the woman, "Who are you?" Before she could answer, however, Sayid was at my side. He moved in front of me, and the movement was so subtle I nearly missed it.

"Rousseau?" He asked. I glanced at the woman and realized that this was the crazy French chick who had tortured Sayid and shot at Hurley, Charlie, and I. "What are you doing here?"

Rousseau's eyes swept across the camp before she whispered, "The Others are coming." My stomach turned to lead, and my heart began to pound. Rousseau started to tell us why she was here, and how she had been stranded on this island for sixteen years. She told us how the Others took her baby away—at this I glanced at Claire fearfully—and that they were coming again. Her last words made my chest contract in fear: "You have only three choices—run. Hide. Or die."

I was standing near my tent a few moments later, chewing my cuticles nervously. My mind was racing, and my blood was like icewater. How would we fight these Others off? How would we protect everybody—especially Claire? Sayid walked by, and I snagged his arm.

"Sayid, is it true?" I whispered. Even I could hear the fear in my voice. "Are the Others really coming?" Sayid gave me a reassuring look.

"You have nothing to worry about," He assured me, but my stomach still clenched in worry.

My cuticles had started to bleed when Jack walked up to me. "Can I enlist you in helping us out?" He asked. I nodded, thankful that Jack had given me something else to think about for a while.

I found out that we were going to try and push the raft into the water. When Jack gave the signal, we all began to push. I noticed Kate and Sun in the legion of people pushing, and they were giving it their all, as I was. I realized something was off when I saw the mast tipping to one side.

"Oh, what—Oh no!" I shrieked as the raft started falling over. "No, no!" I readjusted my balance, dug my heels into the sand, and tried to keep the raft upright, but it was no use. The raft fell amid snapping cables and bamboo. The mast collapsed, and somebody fell over with a shout. A squabble broke out, and I found out that Hurley had accidentally broken the rudder.

I sighed and turned around, rubbing my eyes. _It's all fucked_, I thought before opening them. A strange sight on the horizon made me freeze. _Oh, God. Didn't Rousseau talk about seeing that before the Others came?_

There, on the horizon, was a pillar of black smoke.

I was pacing, the knot in my stomach growing steadily tighter. I was still pacing when I overheard Jack badgering Rousseau for information. She said something about how was he going to hid forty people, and when Jack didn't reply, I moved until he was in my line of vision. I saw him staring at Locke in a knowing way. I made a mental note to follow them the next time they went out.

I didn't have to wait long. I moved stealthily behind them, convinced I was on to something. Whenever a couple of my friends shared a look like Jack and Locke had, they were generally hiding something. Finally, they stopped. They were clustered around a big, dome-like metal object. It had a little square opening on top, about the size of a person. I leaned forward, trying to get a better look at the thing, and felt somebody grab my arm. I squeaked in surprise, and that somebody dragged me into the clearing.

"Marie?" Jack cried angrily. "What are you _doing_ here?" He was yelling at me; I _hated_ it when people yelled at me.

"I knew someone was following us, so I doubled back," the person who was holding my arm said. Sayid, of course. I can't believe I thought I could trick him, damn it!

"You followed us?" Jack yelled, advancing.

"Hey, back off!" I shouted back, prodding Jack in the chest with a finger. "I deserve to know about this! It's my _right_, seeing as how this… thing is going to affect my future _very_ soon!" Jack clenched his jaw.

"That decision isn't made yet," he ground out between clenched teeth.

"Yeah? Well, what if it is? What are you going to say then? 'Oh, we have to hide you all in this big thing that we just found and neglected to tell you about, by the way.' Brilliant, Jack," I spat. Jack finally relaxed, and I thought he was beginning to finally see my point.

"Locke, take her back to camp," he ordered, making me gasp.

"Hell no, Jack!" I screeched, and Locke grabbed me by the shoulders. "Don't you _fucking_ touch me!" I twisted out of his grasp, clenching my fists.

"Jack, she may be right," Sayid spoke up quickly, and I shot him a grateful look. Jack gave me a murderous look, but he finally nodded. I smiled inwardly.

We discussed how to open the 'hatch', as they called it, until Jack asked Rousseau about her explosives. Rousseau said something about 'The Black Rock', and how we would have to travel into the 'Dark Territory'. And no matter how much I tried to convince them, they wouldn't let me go on their expedition.

I huffed and went back to my tent, sulking. Picking up my sketchbook, I flipped through it until it rested on the portrait of Sawyer. He was off in his tent, watching Michael and Jin fix the mast with stalks of bamboo he'd just cut. I ripped out the picture of him, and folded it up into neat little squares.

I picked my way across the sand to him, holding the folded picture in my hand. He saw me coming, and smiled at me when I got there.

"To what do I owe this great pleasure?" He asked. I shyly tucked some hair behind my ears, staring at my feet.

"Here," I said, holding out the picture.

"What's this, a love letter?" Sawyer asked, standing up and reaching for the picture.

"No!" I cried, blushing. I scuffed my foot in the sand. "Just take it with you, you know… for good luck." I quickly turned away and went back to my tent without waiting for him to unfold it.

I saw Walt talk to Shannon and give her the leash to his dog. Curiosity sat on the edge of my mind, but I realized why when I saw the raft being readied to set out again. I sighed, and walked over to the raft. Oh my God, the jibes I'm going to get from Sawyer…

I hugged Michael and Walt goodbye, then hesitantly went up to Sawyer. "Hey," I said. "I guess you're… gonna go now."

"Yup," he replied. "Guess you're gonna have to find another person to cry all over, huh?" I sniffed and nodded, wiping my eyes. And suddenly he was hugging me, and I was hugging him back.

"I'll miss you," I mumbled into his shirt, breathing in the scent of the cotton. The truth was, I was going to miss him a lot more than I wanted to say.

"I'll miss you too," he whispered, and I tightened the hug. Finally, we let go of each other. I instantly missed his warmth. "Thanks for the picture, Tinkerbell." We pushed the raft into the water, and I waved until they were gone and my arm was sore.

--

I think I'm going to go both ways on the Sawyer/Desmond thing, but I'll lean more in the favor of Sawyer in the end. Is that good?


	19. Real

I walked up and down the beach restlessly, searching for something to do. Finally, my legs took me through the jungle and to the hatch.

I sat on the cold metal dome, feeling nervous and unsure. I wanted to do something, wanted to help, but I couldn't do anything. Maybe I could help with sketching out some maps later, but right now, I felt useless. I thought of the raft, of Sawyer and how much I missed him already, of Charlie and Claire and the threat of the Others. Claire must be terrified. I knew she was thinking about her baby.

I thought for hours, until my head hurt and night had fallen. Finally, Jack, Kate, Locke, and Hurley emerged from the jungle. I sighed in relief, glad that they were back. But now, I was even more glad that we were going to finally open the hatch.

Jack and Locke began setting up the dynamite, and told all of us to stay back. They lit the fuse, but then Hurley began yelling something and tried to stomp it out.

"Hurley, come back!" I screamed, jolting forward. Kate held me back, for Jack had already gotten to him, he tackled Hurley to the ground, and right at that moment, the hatch exploded. Searing white light burned through my eyelids, and I threw up my hands to shield myself from it. After a few seconds, I peeked through my fingers.

We inched forward and peeked inside the hatch. All we saw was a dark tunnel with stairs leading down. I couldn't see the bottom. Jack and Locke began arguing over who was going to go down first. But I had already convinced myself that if there was nothing else I could do, I would at least go into the hatch first.

I slowly climbed into the hatch, keeping one eye on the rest of the people. I grabbed a rope, made sure it was tied to something sturdy, then swiftly began to descend into the hatch.

All I did was stand around and watch. I was sick and tired of feeling like a nothing. If it benefited other people for me to go into the hatch first, maybe even saved their lives, then I would face this without any fear.

I was already two-thirds of the way down when Jack and the others noticed I was gone. "Marie!" Jack yelled down. "What are you doing? Come back up here, _now_!" I didn't answer. I just kept going.

The stairs ended a few feet above the ground. I jumped down, leaving the rope dangling near the ladder. I walked down the hallway, trailing my fingers along the cold metal wall, with Jack's screams ringing in my ears. A dome-shaped room greeted me in a second, and I was reminded of a giant golf ball.

A computer sat on the desk, but it had the build of an older model. The room was filled with buttons and flashing lights. I wanted to stay, but the rest of the place begged to be explored. I moved into another room, which was fairly empty.

A footfall made me jump. It wasn't coming from the direction that Jack would have followed me from. Were there _people_ down here? I whirled to the door just as I heard a click.

A man stood in the doorway, a rifle in his hands. "Who are you?" He asked. "What are you doing here?" I caught a hint of a Scottish accent in his voice. Shock made my throat close up. I didn't reply. He began to advance on me, which made me back up. A thump against my back indicated that I had hit the wall.

The word _shit_ repeated in my mind, over and over again, as the man kept coming. Finally, he stopped, and slowly lowered his rifle. He was staring at me quizzically. He took a step forward again, making him only a few inches away from me. I flattened myself against the wall. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure that the man could hear it.

His hand came up to brush against my cheek. I flinched at the sudden contact, squeezing my eyes shut. One of his fingers ran along my eyelashes, then traced down my nose. They lingered on my lips for a minute, then dropped.

"You," he murmured. "You, you're… you're _real_." I opened my eyes slowly, staring up at the man. Slowly, my tensed muscles began to relax.

"Marie!" Somebody yelled. The man brought his gun up so fast it seemed like instinct.

"There are more?" The man asked, grabbing my wrist and yanking me forward.

"Um. Yes," I answered. For some reason, I didn't want to lie to this man.

He yanked me into another room and shoved me onto a couch. I watched as he moved into the doorway and peered down the hall. However, his gun was trained on me. I fidgeted, staring at him. If I bolted, I may be able to get past him. But I didn't want to try it. He'd overpower me, hurt me, or maybe even kill me.

"Are you going to shoot me?" I asked, so softly that even I barely heard it. I looked up at him when he didn't answer. He was staring at me again, his gun lowered, his eyebrows furrowed. And it was that look in his eyes that assured me he wasn't going to hurt me.

Sudden footsteps startled the man, and he whirled around and pistol-whipped—more like rifle-whipped—a figure that shot through the doorway. Kate tumbled to the ground, landing near my feet. I was at her side immediately.

"Oh, Jesus," the man whispered. "Another girl." He was chewing his lip, trying to decide what to with us, when Locke walked in. The man whipped around, pointing his gun in-between Locke's eyes.

Kate stirred, waking up with a jolt. "Kate," I said quickly, trying to calm her down.

"Where am I?" She breathed. I helped her up.

"In the hatch, remember?" I replied. I saw the way she was eyeing the man, as if sizing him up. "Don't try it. It looks like he can use that gun pretty well."

"You," the man said, motioning at Kate with his rifle. "Tie him up." When Kate didn't move, he yelled, "Tie him up!"

"That might not be a good idea," Locke said quickly. I breathed an inward sigh of relief, but didn't feel relieved for very long. He pointed at Kate. "She was a fugitive. We should tie _her_ up." The man finally nodded, and it seemed like he didn't noticed the way Locke whispered to Kate while he was tying her up.

I suddenly felt very nauseous. I wanted to get out of this place, this situation. I stood up shakily.

"Let me out," I said quietly. "I want to leave, let me out." I took a step towards the man, who raised his rifle about halfway before dropping it again.

"I can't," he replied, looking uncomfortable.

I began to shake. "I want to _leave_!" I screamed. I was so sick of this, so sick of _everything_ on this fucking island. I took another step towards the man, but suddenly, someone hit me in the back of the head. It couldn't have been Hatch-Man, he was too far away. I didn't have time to figure out who it was, however, before I sank into blackness.

--

I think I would go bonkers in that situation too. :P


	20. Cloudless Summer Sky

I woke up without the slightest idea as to where I was. I saw a deep blue above me, like a cloudless summer sky. At first I thought I had fallen asleep in the green hills behind my house, but that wasn't the case.

The roar of the ocean brought memories rushing back to me. I realized that the blue above me was the tarp that made up the ceiling of my tent. A sharp pain sliced through my head. Locke, that bastard. He knocked me out, but why?

My head pounded, and a bump greeted my fingers when I ran them over the back of my head. More than anything, I wanted Sawyer to be here so I could express my annoyance to him. No matter what, I knew he would listen, even if he gave me some snippy comments.

I shut my eyes, and I could almost hear a conversation I had had with him a week before he left.

--

_The sun was beating down on my tent, infiltrating the space beneath. Sawyer's tent was still shady, however, so I padded on over to him. He smiled—God, his _dimples_—as I sat down next to him._

_"You're leaving soon," I stated, not looking at him._

_"Yeah," he replied. I could feel him grinning at me. "Don't cry your eyes out over me." I shoved him, but the monster of worry gnawed at the corners of my mind._

_"Hey," I began, absentmindedly picking at my fingernails. "Um… promise me you'll come back alive, okay?" _

_My voice sounded small when it came out of my mouth, pulled from the protected confines of my heart. Trusting people was never my strong suit, so letting others know I was emotionally attached to them was hard for me. I expected a jibe for Sawyer, maybe even laughter._

_Instead, I felt his fingers gently brush against mine. I finally looked at him, and the expression in his eyes calmed my fears slightly. _

_"I promise," he said. I nodded, and we sat together, watching the ocean roil endlessly against the sand._

_--  
_

By the time I moved again, the sun was already setting, a globe of fiery red on the edge of the horizon. I walked to the caves, the intent of asking Jack for some aspirin dancing on my tongue. However, when I got there, I saw something that made my mouth water.

Somehow, while I was sleeping, Hurley had managed to get his hands on real food. Normal food, like crackers and peanut butter and _chocolate. _I remembered how Sawyer and I had shared what we both missed most about home. When we got to food, I said I missed instant mashed potatoes most. Sawyer said he missed chocolate.

"Hurley," I called. He dashed over to me, looking breathless but very happy. "Do you have any mashed potatoes?" Hurley nodded, dropping a can into my eager hands. He turned to go, and the words I wanted to say stuck in my throat like a fish bone.

Finally, I managed to choke out, "Can I take a bar of chocolate for Sawyer?" Hurley looked at me, a question in his raised eyebrows. "You know, if—_when_ he comes back." Hurley must have seen something in me that I couldn't identify, and handed me a bar of chocolate without question.

When I went back to my tent, I wrapped the chocolate in a plastic bag and buried it in the sand, so it wouldn't melt. When I covered up the hole, I not only trapped the bar of chocolate inside. I also trapped my denial about my feelings for Sawyer.

I had a dream that night that made no sense. I was standing in a field of blood-red poppies, and the sun was rising and setting at a quickened pace. And suddenly, there was the raft, sailing towards me on a sea of flowers. Sawyer and the rest of the crew were working frantically on it. Sawyer dove into the field and began swimming towards me.

He finally stopped in front of me. "Come with me," he said, extending a hand. A red the same colour as the poppies ran off him like water.

My legs wouldn't move. Sawyer stood there patiently, dripping red off of the ends of his hair and fingers. "Sawyer, I can't move," I said. I reached out a hand to him, but our fingers stopped a few centimeters short of each other.

Suddenly, Sawyer turned into my brother, and I had the distinctive feeling that the red running off of him was blood. "Why couldn't you come with me, Marie?" He asked. Red spewed out of his mouth when he talked, colouring the air in front of him much like air vapor does when it's cold.

The way my legs seemed to stay rooted to the ground had frustrated me before, but now I was terrified. My brother walked towards me.

"Why?" He asked. His voice sounded like ice breaking.

I screamed as his arms closed around me and we started to sink into the field. The screams continued until I woke up, until I realized that the sound was coming from my own throat.

"Marie?" I heard somebody yell. My vision was swimming, but I could make out the silhouette of a person standing in front of me. Concern was thick in his voice, a voice that I recognized immediately.

"Oh," I whimpered. "Oh, Sayid." My voice trembled as he knelt down next to me.

Sayid's arms encompassed my small form, which didn't really surprise me; he was much bigger than me. I cried into his shirt, my tears soaking the ribbed black material.

"Shh," he soothed. "Everything will be all right."

And as much as I wanted to believe him, as much as my heart yearned to listen, something in myself made me think otherwise.


	21. Like a Wild Animal

The next day, Sun came up to where I was sitting and asked me if I had seen her wedding ring. I gave her a polite no, then watched her shoulders slump as she walked away. My eyebrows furrowed, and I got up to follow her.

"Kate," I called. She nodded at me. "Did Sun lose her wedding ring? She looks really upset."

"Yeah. We've been looking for a little while now, but so far…" Kate shrugged. Pity darkened her green eyes. "Nothing." I watched Sun ask another person the same question, and when they shook their head no, she moved on to another.

I joined the search, but still we couldn't find Sun's precious ring. Eventually, I found her sitting on the fringes of the camp, staring out into the ocean. I plopped down next to her, the heartache emanating off of her making my throat close up.

"You know," I began uneasily. I had the feeling she wasn't in the mood for the talking, but I went on anyways. "I had an older brother who died last year. I loved him so much, and I packed one of his shirts in my bag to remember him by. But I lost it when we crashed on the island." Words eluded me, and I had to pause for a moment before I went on. "I hated that I lost the shirt, but it wasn't really the shirt I'd lost. It was my brother that had gone," I explained as Sun stared at me.

I clasped one of her hands in mine, trying to give her my most reassuring smile. "You'll find it," I said. "And when you do, you'll stop feeling so empty and helpless inside." A light of understanding seemed to appear in her eyes, and I got up and walked away, feeling that my work was done.

A few hours later, I heard that Sun had found her wedding ring. _Well_, I thought, smiling sadly, _that makes one of us._

I noticed that night when Sayid and Shannon disappeared together. They were spending more and more time together, and to tell the truth, I was feeling a little jealous. I had no Sawyer, and now Shannon had taken Sayid away from me. When I saw them laughing, however, I felt like the worst person in the world, and tried to banish those thoughts from my mind.

Screams woke me up, but I was too late in getting to the person who screamed to figure out what caused them. I did, however, get there to find out that it was Shannon who had been screaming, and Sayid was now calming everybody down.

I went back to my tent and slept soundly for the rest of the night. No weird dreams, no interrupting mayhem, nothing.

I woke up to a rumbling sky, grey and uniform. _Great_, I thought bitterly. _Now it's gonna rain all over me. As if life didn't suck already._

Sayid trodded past me, looking very upset. "Hey, wait up," I said, going after him. "What's wrong?"

"Shannon's gone off into the jungle to find Walt," he explained. I slowed for a second. There were about three or four things wrong with that sentence.

I didn't ask questions, though. "I'm coming with you to find her," I said decisively, as if daring him to say otherwise. He didn't, and I walked with him into the dense jungle.

We soon began to run when we couldn't find Shannon. Finally, we broke out of the jungle into a clearing on a high hill. Shannon stood there, Vincent's leash entwined in her fingers. She was casting about, visibly distressed.

I hung back when Sayid went to go talk to her, not wanting to overhear anything personal. They started to move again, and I followed at a slower pace. It started to rain, and Shannon began to run. We followed her, until she fell on her face.

Sayid tried to comfort her, but she was breaking down. He managed to calm her down, but she was focusing at something over his shoulder.

"Walt!" She cried. She darted up to go, but I managed to catch her wrist.

"Shannon, don't! It could be dangerous!" I shouted, but she managed to twist out of my grip. She plunged through the undergrowth with me hot on her heels.

Very suddenly, a gunshot tore through the air. I jumped maybe a foot, and looked around wildly for the source of the noise, heart hammering in my chest. I couldn't find anyone holding a gun, but I saw a flash of pink as Shannon stumbled out and into the nearby arms of Sayid.

I noticed the blood blossoming on her shirt a second before he did.

"Shannon?" He cried, shaking her. She didn't respond. "Shannon! _Shannon!_"

I looked up, and through my blur of tears, saw a person standing in front of us, holding a gun in her hands. Rage clouded my thoughts, and I launched myself at her.

A strong arm caught around my waist right before I got to her, however, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break free.

"You killed her!" I screeched, clawing at the woman's face. It was a centimeter out of my reach, which angered me even more. "You _killed_ her!" The person holding me tried to drag me away, but I fought against him like a wild animal.

I was still trying to fight my way to the woman when I was knocked unconscious.

When I came to, I was tied up to a tree, right next to Sayid. Shannon's body was nowhere to be seen. I tried to get out of my bonds, but Sayid shook his head at me.

"It's no use," he murmured. "They're too tight." He fixed his gaze on his shoes, and I saw that his dark eyes were even darker.

"I'm sorry," I managed to say after a moment. "If I had held my grip on Shannon's wrist tighter, she wouldn't have run…"

"It's not your fault," Sayid replied in a monotone. I wondered if, after this incident, we would ever be able to have fun like we did a few days before.

The woman who had shot Shannon warily walked up to us, and I fixed a gaze on her face. I didn't know who she was, or how she had got here; all I knew is that she had killed the woman my friend had loved.

"Your friends are going back," she said to us.

"Are you going to kill us?" Sayid asked her in reply. Her mouth twitched, but other than that, she didn't move a muscle. "If I were you, I would do precisely that."

_Thanks a lot, Sayid_, I thought. When the woman didn't answer, I thought for sure she was going to shoot us. However, she stepped forward and undid our bonds instead. I watched in surprise as she dropped Sayid's gun at his feet. He stood up, pulling me up with him.

"Now," she said. "Are _you_ going to kill _me_?"

I suddenly felt very afraid, and took Sayid's hand in mine, looking uneasily up at him. _Don't_, I silently prayed. Sayid's eyes darkened even more, until they looked almost black, and I squeezed his hand. He glanced sideways at me, the tears in my eyes making him hesitate.

"Why should I kill you," he replied, "when we are both already dead?"

He began walking towards our camp, stopping to pick up Shannon's body on the way. I held the dead girl's hand, and when I looked at her face, mouthed _I'm sorry_.


	22. Sharing a Moment

I sat and stared at the ocean after me and Sayid got back. I needed to do something. I needed to move, to use my brain, to do something with my hands. If I didn't, I would drown in sorrow.

Jack had told me about the refrigerator in the hatch. The temperature was going up, and I was starting to worry about Sawyer's chocolate bar, buried deep within the sand. If it wasn't moved soon, it would probably melt. I wouldn't be able to handle that.

I unearthed the chocolate, and began the slow progress of making my way towards the hatch. I counted my steps, deliberately avoiding thoughts of Shannon, and how cold her hands had been when Sayid and I were walking back.

Finally, the hatch loomed in front of me. I walked slowly inside, moving as if in a dream. I made it to the fridge, and was just opening its door when Jack brushed past me.

He seemed preoccupied, distressed. He was murmuring to himself, and I caught glimpses of blood on his hands. He rushed by me again, and I managed to snag his arm before he got away.

"Jack, whose blood is that?" I asked. When he saw me, he paled. The reaction made me scared. Jack didn't answer; he merely scuffed his feet and looked uncomfortable. My blood pounded in my ears, and my breathing became shallow by a fraction. "Jack," I repeated more insistently, "whose is it?"

"It's Sawyer's," he finally said, and hurried off to go do something or other.

The world slowed, and my heart stopped beating for a second that felt like a million years. Sawyer. The name rang through my mind over and over again. _Sawyer._

"Sawyer," I choked out. Suddenly, I was moving, running from room to room, searching for him. Finally, I found a room where a still form lay in a bed against a wall.

The chocolate bar slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor, long forgotten in my haste to see Sawyer. I'd been running so fast, been searching so hard… and for what? To get to him too late?

I sat in the chair next to his bed. He didn't look like he was breathing, much less like he was alive. My heart ached to look at him. I gently took one of his hands, tracing the outlines of his knuckles with my fingers. How I had longed to do this when he was here… before he…

Tears poured out of my eyes, two rivers that spoke of sadness and heartbreak. "You promised not to die," I whispered. The agony in my voice cut into my throat, swelling it up and making it hard to breathe. "You _promised_ me." I knelt my head and wept miserably.

"Marie…?" A voice asked. I opened my eyes, and found Sawyer peering up at me.

"Sawyer," I breathed. Laughter escaped from me, through my lips and through my tears. "Oh, _Sawyer_. I thought you… I thought you died."

"'Course not," he scoffed with some difficulty. His breathing was ragged, I noticed. One of his hands came up to brush against my cheek. I leaned into his touch, crying from relief now, instead of sadness. "I promised not to, didn't I?"

I nodded, smiling so wide I felt as if my face might break. Sawyer gazed at me. I wanted to dive into his eyes and never come out.

"Marie," he murmured. His hand was warm in mine.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I… could really go for a bar of chocolate right now," he said, coughing slightly. I laughed again, and remembered my discarded chocolate bar.

"Hold on," I said, fetching the bar of chocolate to him. He stared at it in surprise.

"Where'd you manage to get this?" He asked incredulously as he unwrapped it.

"Oh," I replied, shrugging. "Just had to sleep with a few people, you know?" Sawyer gave me a look, and I shook my head to make sure he knew it was a joke. He sniffed the chocolate, looking at it with mistrust. "It's not poisoned, stupid. Go ahead and eat it, I've been saving it for you the entire time you were gone."

At this, Sawyer locked his eyes with mine. "Really," he mused, a smirk playing upon his lips.

"Yes, really," I snapped, trying to defend myself as a blush rose to my cheeks. "Shut up and eat your chocolate."

Sawyer took a big, sumptuous bite, making it a point to chew it audibly in front of me. I watched him chew, my mouth beginning to water. I missed chocolate a lot, too, but I wasn't about to take the bar away from Sawyer.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sawyer said innocently. "Would you like some?" He held it out to me.

It was all I could do to keep myself from snatching it away from him. He handed me the bar, and I took a small bite. The chocolate nearly melted in my mouth, warmed by the stagnant afternoon air and the heat of my body. I closed my eyes in ecstasy, a small moan coming from my throat.

"Oh, my God," I shuddered out, reluctantly handing the chocolate bar back to Sawyer.

"Jesus," he began. "The way you were carrying on, it was as if you had an orga—" Jack suddenly walked in, making Sawyer's lips clamp shut. He forced a smile at the doctor, who stared at me for a moment.

Sawyer noticed the way Jack's eyes lingered on my face, and I could have sworn I saw jealousy flash in his eyes. He cleared his throat rather loudly, snapping Jack's focus back to him instead of me.

"What can I do for ya, Doc?" He asked sweetly. His voice was saccharine, like poisoned chocolate.

"I need to change your bandage," Jack replied evenly. I politely moved out of the way as Jack re-bound Sawyer's shoulder, the two glaring death at each other the whole time.

"Thank you," Sawyer ground out when Jack finished.

"Anytime," Jack retorted, and left. Sawyer sneered at the door once he had gone.

"He's only trying to help," I reasoned, resuming my spot next to him. I took his hand in mine again.

"Yeah, well, the Doc overstepped his boundaries this time," he spat, and his eyes met mine. Suddenly, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

A shudder passed through me as we shared this moment. What if I never got to do something like this with Sawyer again? Things happened so fast on this island. One day, we could have something, and the next day… it could just vanish. Shannon's face flashed through my mind, and I felt a drastic move coming on.

I climbed into the bed next to Sawyer, despite his avid protests. My head lay on his chest, and I picked up the strong thumps of his heartbeat. I closed my eyes, listening to the rhythm of Sawyer's life.

"I was so scared," I mumbled. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "I was so scared that I'd never see you again."

"Don't worry," was his simple reply. "I'm here now."

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I have a feeling SassyLostie will like this chapter:D And thanks, hanzangel!


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